We're getting close. Last night I started to get irregular contractions and a terrible headache. This morning I was still getting contractions and still had my headache. I'm guessing the headache is associated with the hormone shift. The contractions are still mild and irregular, yet I'm aware of them for the first time. Previously the Braxton Hicks contractions were only felt if my hand was on my belly. Now my belly is telling me that it is getting tight - no hands required. At times I wonder if my uterus might be working on an impression of a bowling ball. It becomes hard and spherical and, from my estimate, it might weigh roughly 10-12 pounds with baby, placenta and amniotic fluid included.
I got in a nap this , as I felt narcoleptic this morning and my attempts to work were foibled by foggy head. The nap took the fog away along with the stronger contractions. I suspect they'll be back. I hope not tonight... I'd rather made the labor a weekend project.
As I write this, I'm enjoying a warm breeze through the open window behind me. Little Tsunami is dozing on her back next to me. I suddenly had an urge to find her belly button. She didn't seem to mind and I think I found a small divot where she was once connected to her mum. Good to know she isn't of alien origin. Zoe submitted to a belly search and I think i was able to locate hers as well.
Today I've been telling Tsunami, "Not much longer. You're going to be replaced by a monkey baby." and, "You did a good job as a practice baby. I promise not to forget you when the baby is here." She does not seem distressed by the impending change. Instead she looks deep into my eyes in a loving hypnotic way that evokes a feeling of overwhelming love and tenderness. They tell me I'll fell that same feeling but on steroids when I look at my baby. I can't imagine, but should know soon.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Garden Update
Tiger was restrained, however the snails were not.
I am missing a bean plant, mystery plant and was able to rescue a clump of baby lettuce from two marauding snails. Plot #1 doesn't look happy.
I am missing a bean plant, mystery plant and was able to rescue a clump of baby lettuce from two marauding snails. Plot #1 doesn't look happy.
Tiger Proof Fence - Veggie Garden Year 3
The veggie garden has expanded. With a lovely gift from Dad & Brendan-Kate-Lilly Mac, I now have a second garden plot. This one out sizes garden plot #1. We've gone from 4x8 to 4x12. This grow was in part due to my annoyance that I really can't grow corn, Tomato & other veg in a 4x8 foot plot - well, not more than 1 plant of each. This year, the new plot will be the tomato-corn plot. The original will (hopefully) have beans, okra, peppers, chard, carrots, cucumber and eggplant. Maybe I'm being a bit ambitious.
Last weekend Dad helped with the installation of the plot. We were quite a motley crew of workers, Dad being a bit older and seeing him work makes me uncomfortable. Me, unable to pull my normal weight being 8 months pregnant. Which leaves Marc, our only able bodied worker. Despite the collection of physical limitations, Dad & I dug up the lilies (which are awaiting planting at my mother's house) and sod. Together the three of us assembled the wood frame. Then Dad & I filled the plot with the soil that able-bodied Marc had carried from the garage to the back yard. While we filled, Marc worked on our reward - a steak & potato lunch. Our successful installation praised, our reward consumed, Dad soon departed and we promptly napped to recover our strength.
This weekend we took on the watering system and installation of the Tiger proof fence. Last weekend, we realized we had an odd configuration of sprinklers that we could tap and re-work to provide irrigation to the plants. Saturday started off with a trip to Lowes and much thoughtful time in the irrigation aisle. $200 later we headed home with piping, nobs, tubes, adapters, caps, fence posts, fencig and six sage plants that work as caterpillar deterrents for my tomatoes.
Marc set to work on the sprinkler system and I, realizing my utter lack of water delivery knowledge got tasked with driving in the stakes for the anti-pet fence. With all my learning, I never expected to be the one driving posts with mallot in hand. After 7 stakes, I realized that gloves would be a good idea. I AM looking forward to my mani-pedi today to soothe my ego & rough skin.
This year marks another new adventure - a few weeks back I treated myself to a seed sprouter. This magical device gives me little pods into which I put seeds and then it creates plants. Some call it nature, I call it miraculous. My first round was an utter success, until I tried to move them to larger grow containers and killed about half of those that had grown. Well, I started another batch - this time including 3 types of tomatoes: Beef Steak, Roma & cherry. Well, the ones that did survive my brutal replanting as well as all of those from round 2 have been put into the ground. The cord didn't really make it, but I, ever the optimist, put them in plot #2 and said a prayer. Also in plot #2 we've got the smallest little tomatoes tucked in under protective wire frames, guarded by sage plants along the border. In plot #1, we still have Massive, Happy-Chard that hasn't been pulled up in 18 months. I think we need to eat more chard to keep it better under control.
Also in Plot #1 - the cabbage that I put in back in December that is finally getting big enough to consider producing heads. To them I added 3 pea plants, the 1 bean plant that made it, 2.5 okra plants (it would be three, but I knocked off the leaves from one during the replanting process, so we're again optimistic and saying prayers) along with a row of carrot seeds (they can't be sprouted, must go in the ground. I also planted 5 tender shoots that I think are bell peppers, but am unsure along with one total mystery plant. I'm trying not to over plant, per Marc's encouragement. However, things look so bare right now. It is taking a lot of energy to NOT add more.
Also, I created the potato circle/mound and put all my seed potatoes into the ground. We're crossing our fingers for a nice harvest of banana potatoes in 75 days. The package says 75 days, yet I've never had my plants fruit in that short of a time frame. What am I doing wrong?
By the end of the day, and many impromptu sprinkler showers later, we have installed a happy irrigation system, plants and a fence that should keep Tiger, the cat that loves to use my plots for a litter box, out. I haven't checked if it was successful. Marc earned himself a special gold star by dragging our exhausted selves out to the store to get kitty litter so that Tiger might use her outside box instead of my plots.
With that, I'm out to see if kitty-enemy #1 has soiled my labors.
Last weekend Dad helped with the installation of the plot. We were quite a motley crew of workers, Dad being a bit older and seeing him work makes me uncomfortable. Me, unable to pull my normal weight being 8 months pregnant. Which leaves Marc, our only able bodied worker. Despite the collection of physical limitations, Dad & I dug up the lilies (which are awaiting planting at my mother's house) and sod. Together the three of us assembled the wood frame. Then Dad & I filled the plot with the soil that able-bodied Marc had carried from the garage to the back yard. While we filled, Marc worked on our reward - a steak & potato lunch. Our successful installation praised, our reward consumed, Dad soon departed and we promptly napped to recover our strength.
This weekend we took on the watering system and installation of the Tiger proof fence. Last weekend, we realized we had an odd configuration of sprinklers that we could tap and re-work to provide irrigation to the plants. Saturday started off with a trip to Lowes and much thoughtful time in the irrigation aisle. $200 later we headed home with piping, nobs, tubes, adapters, caps, fence posts, fencig and six sage plants that work as caterpillar deterrents for my tomatoes.
Marc set to work on the sprinkler system and I, realizing my utter lack of water delivery knowledge got tasked with driving in the stakes for the anti-pet fence. With all my learning, I never expected to be the one driving posts with mallot in hand. After 7 stakes, I realized that gloves would be a good idea. I AM looking forward to my mani-pedi today to soothe my ego & rough skin.
This year marks another new adventure - a few weeks back I treated myself to a seed sprouter. This magical device gives me little pods into which I put seeds and then it creates plants. Some call it nature, I call it miraculous. My first round was an utter success, until I tried to move them to larger grow containers and killed about half of those that had grown. Well, I started another batch - this time including 3 types of tomatoes: Beef Steak, Roma & cherry. Well, the ones that did survive my brutal replanting as well as all of those from round 2 have been put into the ground. The cord didn't really make it, but I, ever the optimist, put them in plot #2 and said a prayer. Also in plot #2 we've got the smallest little tomatoes tucked in under protective wire frames, guarded by sage plants along the border. In plot #1, we still have Massive, Happy-Chard that hasn't been pulled up in 18 months. I think we need to eat more chard to keep it better under control.
Also in Plot #1 - the cabbage that I put in back in December that is finally getting big enough to consider producing heads. To them I added 3 pea plants, the 1 bean plant that made it, 2.5 okra plants (it would be three, but I knocked off the leaves from one during the replanting process, so we're again optimistic and saying prayers) along with a row of carrot seeds (they can't be sprouted, must go in the ground. I also planted 5 tender shoots that I think are bell peppers, but am unsure along with one total mystery plant. I'm trying not to over plant, per Marc's encouragement. However, things look so bare right now. It is taking a lot of energy to NOT add more.
Also, I created the potato circle/mound and put all my seed potatoes into the ground. We're crossing our fingers for a nice harvest of banana potatoes in 75 days. The package says 75 days, yet I've never had my plants fruit in that short of a time frame. What am I doing wrong?
By the end of the day, and many impromptu sprinkler showers later, we have installed a happy irrigation system, plants and a fence that should keep Tiger, the cat that loves to use my plots for a litter box, out. I haven't checked if it was successful. Marc earned himself a special gold star by dragging our exhausted selves out to the store to get kitty litter so that Tiger might use her outside box instead of my plots.
With that, I'm out to see if kitty-enemy #1 has soiled my labors.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Home Birth
I've tried to keep my interest in home birth a bit of a secret. I didn't want to be harangued by people telling me why I need to go to the hospital. Until last week, I had my parents & husband set against the idea, but Marc cracked and we've picked a team of East Bay Midwives to do the home birth - barring any complications that would send me to the hospital.
My friend's baby-mamma wrote up this wonderful rationale for why home birth:
http://tkdbaby.blogspot.com/2010/11/kickin-it-old-school-our-decision-to.html
Which I 100% agree with. However she left out one part of my decision - the physical achievement.
In my life I've hiked the Andes. I've danced until dawn. I've run 26 miles in a row. I've done two half marathons, one up Mt. Diablo and through streams coming down. I've done 3 hour bike rides that have left me saddle sore for days. I've done cousin death marches around various cities. I've risen to many physical challenges and endured the temporary pain that comes with them.
Along the way I've noticed that endorphins kick in. Running 26 miles is a long time to be in discomfort, yet many people do it voluntarily. I haven't yet experienced child birth, yet my Bradley Method Instructor who's had 5 natural births describes labor as work, but not necessarily painful work.
Training for the early stages of labor - relaxing so that the only muscle working is the uterus. Advice I have heard when doing distance running training - relax all muscles but those working. Tight shoulders during runs will cause pain as will they during childbirth. Anxiety or mental tightness during running causes pain as will it during childbirth. Yes, stretching those parts of me will leave me saddle sore for a while - as does a long bicycle ride.
I hope that putting childbirth in the same context as endurance physical events and using the same mental & physical techniques will result in a childbirth where I'm high on endorphins, not morphine. I'll have the baby and be coherent and a full participant in the experience - not doped up and woozy.
Yesterday the midwives pointed out that I was having Braxton-Hicks contractions. The rest of the day, I was feeling my belly, waiting for it to become firm and solid as it was in their office. I am so thrilled that I'm getting closer to the big event. My body is working and preparing like I am mentally.
My friend's baby-mamma wrote up this wonderful rationale for why home birth:
http://tkdbaby.blogspot.com/2010/11/kickin-it-old-school-our-decision-to.html
Which I 100% agree with. However she left out one part of my decision - the physical achievement.
In my life I've hiked the Andes. I've danced until dawn. I've run 26 miles in a row. I've done two half marathons, one up Mt. Diablo and through streams coming down. I've done 3 hour bike rides that have left me saddle sore for days. I've done cousin death marches around various cities. I've risen to many physical challenges and endured the temporary pain that comes with them.
Along the way I've noticed that endorphins kick in. Running 26 miles is a long time to be in discomfort, yet many people do it voluntarily. I haven't yet experienced child birth, yet my Bradley Method Instructor who's had 5 natural births describes labor as work, but not necessarily painful work.
Training for the early stages of labor - relaxing so that the only muscle working is the uterus. Advice I have heard when doing distance running training - relax all muscles but those working. Tight shoulders during runs will cause pain as will they during childbirth. Anxiety or mental tightness during running causes pain as will it during childbirth. Yes, stretching those parts of me will leave me saddle sore for a while - as does a long bicycle ride.
I hope that putting childbirth in the same context as endurance physical events and using the same mental & physical techniques will result in a childbirth where I'm high on endorphins, not morphine. I'll have the baby and be coherent and a full participant in the experience - not doped up and woozy.
Yesterday the midwives pointed out that I was having Braxton-Hicks contractions. The rest of the day, I was feeling my belly, waiting for it to become firm and solid as it was in their office. I am so thrilled that I'm getting closer to the big event. My body is working and preparing like I am mentally.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
How many products do you use each day?
In the last few years, I've vacationed several places which should have lovely snorkeling but instead have reefs that appear to be dying. What struck me in my last visits to Hawaii as well as staying at a hotel on the "Coral Coast" of Fiji was how fuzzy the coral looks. Hawaii especially - what was once a magical world of vibrant colors looked like it was coated by mold and sand. I credited global warming, and sadly shook my head.
Then I saw the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and some ideas started bouncing around in my head. They are pushing to get toxic ingredients out of products we put on our bodies. I watched their video - www.safecosmetics.org - agreed in my standard liberal way and then didn't think much of it.
But then it started to eat away at me. I mean, I compost my organic, locally grown veggie scraps. I grow my own veg. While being pregnant and peeing twice an hour, I've taken to flushing every other time (kinda gross, but it is just a touch of pee that can mellow until joined by more pee). I do what I can to live as gently on this plant. But I'm potentially washing my hair with stuff that is killing fish and marine life.
While in the shower, I looked at the bottle of Pureology, which I love, and realized that it proudly stated that it was Vegan. My shampoo is vegan. Seriously! But then I looked at the ingredients. Most of the ingredients came out of a lab. I'm sure some were derived from petroleum products. What good is having vegan shampoo when the ingredients it requires come from oil? The stuff that we just dumped millions of gallons into the gulf killing billions of fish, birds and other marine life. Seems a bit silly. Then I looked at the Neutrogena body wash - same thing, vegan but with chemicals. The pattern emerges.
As I got out of the shower, I started counting all the products I lather on my body. Special anti-stretch mark lotion for the belly, Essential Organic moisturizer for the legs, face moisturizer, eye treatment, deodorant, 3-4 different products to make my hair happy and maybe a dash of perfume and counted eight or nine products in all. No wonder the reefs were dying outside the hotel in Fiji. All that stuff plus sunscreen washes off us, into the water and it disrupts the delicate balance of the water.
Now, I'm terrible, I'm not going to stop dying my hair. I am going to take a closer look at the products I rub all over me. I'd like to see if I can find more earth friendly. I want more ingredients which I can identify - Tea Tree Oil - and fewer that I can't - Methylparaben.
Then I saw the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and some ideas started bouncing around in my head. They are pushing to get toxic ingredients out of products we put on our bodies. I watched their video - www.safecosmetics.org - agreed in my standard liberal way and then didn't think much of it.
But then it started to eat away at me. I mean, I compost my organic, locally grown veggie scraps. I grow my own veg. While being pregnant and peeing twice an hour, I've taken to flushing every other time (kinda gross, but it is just a touch of pee that can mellow until joined by more pee). I do what I can to live as gently on this plant. But I'm potentially washing my hair with stuff that is killing fish and marine life.
While in the shower, I looked at the bottle of Pureology, which I love, and realized that it proudly stated that it was Vegan. My shampoo is vegan. Seriously! But then I looked at the ingredients. Most of the ingredients came out of a lab. I'm sure some were derived from petroleum products. What good is having vegan shampoo when the ingredients it requires come from oil? The stuff that we just dumped millions of gallons into the gulf killing billions of fish, birds and other marine life. Seems a bit silly. Then I looked at the Neutrogena body wash - same thing, vegan but with chemicals. The pattern emerges.
As I got out of the shower, I started counting all the products I lather on my body. Special anti-stretch mark lotion for the belly, Essential Organic moisturizer for the legs, face moisturizer, eye treatment, deodorant, 3-4 different products to make my hair happy and maybe a dash of perfume and counted eight or nine products in all. No wonder the reefs were dying outside the hotel in Fiji. All that stuff plus sunscreen washes off us, into the water and it disrupts the delicate balance of the water.
Now, I'm terrible, I'm not going to stop dying my hair. I am going to take a closer look at the products I rub all over me. I'd like to see if I can find more earth friendly. I want more ingredients which I can identify - Tea Tree Oil - and fewer that I can't - Methylparaben.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Belly - Size Matters
Less than a week ago, one of the barristas at our regular Starbucks was surprised to hear I was pregnant. Which shocked & appalled me. She said she just thought I had put on a few pounds. Great! I'm 7 months along and still look fat-not-pregnant.
This is only 10 hours before I have birth class where me & 3 other women are learning about natural childbirth. Of the there other pregnant woman, one had her baby Monday. She was on #2 and taking the class as a refresher - so while I am jealous of her round and clearly pregnant belly, she's over 2 months ahead of me, so no comparison.
However, I've got two other women in the class. One is larger and it isn't obvious she's pregnant, as she is just large. The other, who is due a week before me, has a clearly pregnant belly.
Me - I could be 5 months if that, or as the barrista says, "just thought you looked a little porky." So, what do I do? I find myself pushing out the belly farther than normal. No worries about keeping the abs tight. I'm like a child who sticks out their belly to scream, "See! I'm pregnant!". But, really, I am pregnant.
I tell my coworker who just delivered her 2nd baby that I'm trying to pick clothes which make it clear that I'm expecting. She was so confused, "Why?" So i don't look fat! Duh!
Marc seems to think I'm crazy. I just need to find a t-shirt that declares my current state sot that, despite the 22 lb weight gain, I can feel pregnant not fat.
This is only 10 hours before I have birth class where me & 3 other women are learning about natural childbirth. Of the there other pregnant woman, one had her baby Monday. She was on #2 and taking the class as a refresher - so while I am jealous of her round and clearly pregnant belly, she's over 2 months ahead of me, so no comparison.
However, I've got two other women in the class. One is larger and it isn't obvious she's pregnant, as she is just large. The other, who is due a week before me, has a clearly pregnant belly.
Me - I could be 5 months if that, or as the barrista says, "just thought you looked a little porky." So, what do I do? I find myself pushing out the belly farther than normal. No worries about keeping the abs tight. I'm like a child who sticks out their belly to scream, "See! I'm pregnant!". But, really, I am pregnant.
I tell my coworker who just delivered her 2nd baby that I'm trying to pick clothes which make it clear that I'm expecting. She was so confused, "Why?" So i don't look fat! Duh!
Marc seems to think I'm crazy. I just need to find a t-shirt that declares my current state sot that, despite the 22 lb weight gain, I can feel pregnant not fat.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Strange Thoughts
Here I am at 7 months. Two months to go until we meet future baby.
In my attempts to connect with future baby, I realized that the little one is upside-down and, for the most part, in the same position it will be in for the next 2 months. Would you get bored stuck in the same position, on your head for 2 months?
What is the little baby thinking? How bored must it be? No TV, books, music is only at the whim of your mother. It sounds terrible. I feel guilty, until I force fish down my throat for the benefit of future baby. Then again, it doesn't sound like the next nine months are much better. How did we make it through those long days of no thought and little action?
But then I go to get dressed and feel so big. Yes, Marc is a good husband and I believe him when he says I look beautiful. I think we tell pregnant women they are glowing to make up for min 20 lbs we gain, the inability to put on our shoes and frustration with clothes. I get dressed and think, "God I'd like something else to wear. But why buy clothes that I can only wear for the next 69 days? What a waste!" Sigh.
In our house we have a struggle between my pregnancy-onset anorexia and Marc's efforts to keep food entering my body. This week was a victory for me - I haven't gained weight this week. I anticipate a surge from the Marc side of things... we'll have cheese plates, snacks and endless trips to Starbucks where pastries magically appear for me. He is a good man. He'll be a good father. I hope I'll be a good mom.
In my attempts to connect with future baby, I realized that the little one is upside-down and, for the most part, in the same position it will be in for the next 2 months. Would you get bored stuck in the same position, on your head for 2 months?
What is the little baby thinking? How bored must it be? No TV, books, music is only at the whim of your mother. It sounds terrible. I feel guilty, until I force fish down my throat for the benefit of future baby. Then again, it doesn't sound like the next nine months are much better. How did we make it through those long days of no thought and little action?
But then I go to get dressed and feel so big. Yes, Marc is a good husband and I believe him when he says I look beautiful. I think we tell pregnant women they are glowing to make up for min 20 lbs we gain, the inability to put on our shoes and frustration with clothes. I get dressed and think, "God I'd like something else to wear. But why buy clothes that I can only wear for the next 69 days? What a waste!" Sigh.
In our house we have a struggle between my pregnancy-onset anorexia and Marc's efforts to keep food entering my body. This week was a victory for me - I haven't gained weight this week. I anticipate a surge from the Marc side of things... we'll have cheese plates, snacks and endless trips to Starbucks where pastries magically appear for me. He is a good man. He'll be a good father. I hope I'll be a good mom.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Collective Bargining
I am quite disturbed by the Wisconsin Governor Walker's drive to end collective bargaining in his state. What I've seen is that those with the least use collective bargaining to ensure that they maintain an adequate income. I've never seen collective bargaining used by the Haves (Stock Brokers, Sales Reps, Bankers, Lawyers, etc). The vast majority of those who collectively bargain are blue collar workers. The teachers, hotel workers, plumbers, laborers who do the stuff we white collar folk disdain.
Many states have decided that the Haves don't need to contribute to the budget deficits. They don't need any tax adjustment. Instead the efforts to balance budgets falls on those with the least voice and ability to fight back. We're taking money from our kids & schools. Which, I suspect will result in a need for more prisons down the line. Walker is doing his best to bust unions so that those barely making the national average will have little leverage when their pay dips below the national average. They are removing funding from health care and family planning - great more need for prisons in 18 years. They won't help people NOT have kids, nor will they help support, raise or education those unwanted children who then be burdens on our society.
I hope all union workers in Wisconsin strike. Stand-up!
Our collective culture will deteriorate if we insist on taxing our poor and vulnerable while letting the millionaires & billionaires thrive. There is no trickle down. We tried that under Bush and all we got was a massive depression.
Many states have decided that the Haves don't need to contribute to the budget deficits. They don't need any tax adjustment. Instead the efforts to balance budgets falls on those with the least voice and ability to fight back. We're taking money from our kids & schools. Which, I suspect will result in a need for more prisons down the line. Walker is doing his best to bust unions so that those barely making the national average will have little leverage when their pay dips below the national average. They are removing funding from health care and family planning - great more need for prisons in 18 years. They won't help people NOT have kids, nor will they help support, raise or education those unwanted children who then be burdens on our society.
I hope all union workers in Wisconsin strike. Stand-up!
Our collective culture will deteriorate if we insist on taxing our poor and vulnerable while letting the millionaires & billionaires thrive. There is no trickle down. We tried that under Bush and all we got was a massive depression.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Can the Federal Government Require to you buy something?
One of the premises of the argument against Obama's health care plan is that the Federal Government requires you to purchase something. At first I did think this might be a bit dubious, however, as I start to amass goods for the Future Baby, I'm suddenly dumbstruck by all that I'm mandated to purchase.
I have to purchase a car seat to get the baby home. I guess I could take the bus or walk, if I didn't want to. That is also like saying we don't need to buy food. How many Americans are able to grow their own food supply?
I have to purchase vaccines in order for my child to participate in society. We are all familiar with the fight on this front.
I have to provide a quality environment for the baby. If I don't buy diapers and let it stew in its own waste, Child Protective Services will come take the baby.
I must provide clothing to the child, or it will not be able to leave the house. Again, I might be able to raise cotton, clean, spin & weave it into cloth from which I can then fashion a garment, yet that loop hole is a bit silly. So, the purchase of clothing is required - especially if my child is to attend school. If my child does not attend school, I'm mandated to provide education for it - which requires the purchase of curriculum/materials, etc.
It seems silly to say that the government cannot require us to buy things.
I have to purchase a car seat to get the baby home. I guess I could take the bus or walk, if I didn't want to. That is also like saying we don't need to buy food. How many Americans are able to grow their own food supply?
I have to purchase vaccines in order for my child to participate in society. We are all familiar with the fight on this front.
I have to provide a quality environment for the baby. If I don't buy diapers and let it stew in its own waste, Child Protective Services will come take the baby.
I must provide clothing to the child, or it will not be able to leave the house. Again, I might be able to raise cotton, clean, spin & weave it into cloth from which I can then fashion a garment, yet that loop hole is a bit silly. So, the purchase of clothing is required - especially if my child is to attend school. If my child does not attend school, I'm mandated to provide education for it - which requires the purchase of curriculum/materials, etc.
It seems silly to say that the government cannot require us to buy things.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Development
Officially it has started! I didn't think it would happen so soon...
I'm 23 weeks along. Just a few more days and I'll be in the third trimester. However, to those who do not know me, I just look big-bellied. I look like I've been working my way solo, through a keg and it is moving from the metal tin to my gut. I do not look pregnant. I look nothing like all the photos of pregnant women with distinct round bulges. Yes, I know, I should count myself lucky
However, when I am not counting myself lucky for having a beach-ball under my shirt, I am stuck with this nagging thought in my head, "Is my fetus developing normally?" Is it on the small side? Is that why my belly isn't round and massive? I didn't think I'd have to worry about my child's development until the Human Tape Worm (HTW) made an appearance. At which point, I'd feel compelled to chronicle how soon it walked, held a rattle, said "Mommy!" and such. But no, I'm starting the worry now even before the HTW has appeared.
Maybe it would grow more if I felt more maternal towards it. The exercise tapes and birth class talk about feeling connected to my baby. How am I supposed to feel connected? The big belly is like a never-ending post Thanksgiving bloat and the kicks could just be high-powered gas. The glowing woman, hands on belly, gently gazing down who is somehow channeling the Virgin Mary - nope not me. I'm sure it will change with HTW makes a personal appearance. Until then, I'll keep wondering what is going on in there and if it has learned how to play Mozart yet.
I'm 23 weeks along. Just a few more days and I'll be in the third trimester. However, to those who do not know me, I just look big-bellied. I look like I've been working my way solo, through a keg and it is moving from the metal tin to my gut. I do not look pregnant. I look nothing like all the photos of pregnant women with distinct round bulges. Yes, I know, I should count myself lucky
However, when I am not counting myself lucky for having a beach-ball under my shirt, I am stuck with this nagging thought in my head, "Is my fetus developing normally?" Is it on the small side? Is that why my belly isn't round and massive? I didn't think I'd have to worry about my child's development until the Human Tape Worm (HTW) made an appearance. At which point, I'd feel compelled to chronicle how soon it walked, held a rattle, said "Mommy!" and such. But no, I'm starting the worry now even before the HTW has appeared.
Maybe it would grow more if I felt more maternal towards it. The exercise tapes and birth class talk about feeling connected to my baby. How am I supposed to feel connected? The big belly is like a never-ending post Thanksgiving bloat and the kicks could just be high-powered gas. The glowing woman, hands on belly, gently gazing down who is somehow channeling the Virgin Mary - nope not me. I'm sure it will change with HTW makes a personal appearance. Until then, I'll keep wondering what is going on in there and if it has learned how to play Mozart yet.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Energy Efficiency
Yesterday I enjoyed an hour catching up on New Yorker magazines. I read a number of thought providing articles, one if which has stuck with me.
This one: The Efficiency Dilemma - If our machines are more efficient, will we just use more of them?
The article clearly states that the answer to that is, "Yes!". The example provided about refrigeration has an interlinked story with other excess with it. Essentially, by the 50's the modern home had a refrigerator. That model would pale in comparison to our current versions - cooling less while using twice as much energy. Yet, 50+ years later, we don't have just one, energy efficient fridge. Instead we have the kitchen fridge, the spare in the garage, or maybe a drink cooler in the family room and a sub-zero to keep our Costco purchases frozen. So, yes, our refrigerator is more efficient, so we own more of them. Our energy usage is not less.
So, for the same energy bill, we can own two fridges which means we have to fill them, right? Trips to Costco help with that. We super size our consumption of food. The article notes, "the growth of American refrigerator volume has been roughly paralleled by the growth of American body-mass index." However, we don't eat it all. According to wastedfood.com, we throw away some 40% of the produce we produce.
This core issue has been bouncing around in my head. Yes, I struggle with cooking & eating everything I bring home. I hate to have something go bad. I do try to put what I don't eat into either the dog-bowl or the compost heap. I do have one weakness - take home food. Friday we had a pizza delivered and ate half of it. The rest is still there... staring at me, asking to be eaten. But with my expanding waist, I'm not keep to indulge twice in a 7 day period. I'm guilty of over buying and there are starving children in some parts of the world. You might think, it's just a pizza indulgence - get over it! Yet last week, it was left-over Thai food that sat in there wanting to be eaten for days. There is a pattern of waste in my life.
And it doesn't stop with the food. I know I'm evil by keeping the house at 70 degrees in the winter and, I'm not sure what in the summer. I ponder shade structures in the back yard to passively cool both the units & my house. My ever-so-efficient air conditioning units face west and bake in the summer sun - but really, that could improve their efficiency by 10%, would I then change the thermostat down 10% in the summer, evening out the gains?
In essence I'm American and living the American life-style. Unless I make radical changes, such as going off the grid or replacing my house with an earthship, are the changes worth it? They are small and mere drops in the larger sea of energy usage.
This one: The Efficiency Dilemma - If our machines are more efficient, will we just use more of them?
The article clearly states that the answer to that is, "Yes!". The example provided about refrigeration has an interlinked story with other excess with it. Essentially, by the 50's the modern home had a refrigerator. That model would pale in comparison to our current versions - cooling less while using twice as much energy. Yet, 50+ years later, we don't have just one, energy efficient fridge. Instead we have the kitchen fridge, the spare in the garage, or maybe a drink cooler in the family room and a sub-zero to keep our Costco purchases frozen. So, yes, our refrigerator is more efficient, so we own more of them. Our energy usage is not less.
So, for the same energy bill, we can own two fridges which means we have to fill them, right? Trips to Costco help with that. We super size our consumption of food. The article notes, "the growth of American refrigerator volume has been roughly paralleled by the growth of American body-mass index." However, we don't eat it all. According to wastedfood.com, we throw away some 40% of the produce we produce.
This core issue has been bouncing around in my head. Yes, I struggle with cooking & eating everything I bring home. I hate to have something go bad. I do try to put what I don't eat into either the dog-bowl or the compost heap. I do have one weakness - take home food. Friday we had a pizza delivered and ate half of it. The rest is still there... staring at me, asking to be eaten. But with my expanding waist, I'm not keep to indulge twice in a 7 day period. I'm guilty of over buying and there are starving children in some parts of the world. You might think, it's just a pizza indulgence - get over it! Yet last week, it was left-over Thai food that sat in there wanting to be eaten for days. There is a pattern of waste in my life.
And it doesn't stop with the food. I know I'm evil by keeping the house at 70 degrees in the winter and, I'm not sure what in the summer. I ponder shade structures in the back yard to passively cool both the units & my house. My ever-so-efficient air conditioning units face west and bake in the summer sun - but really, that could improve their efficiency by 10%, would I then change the thermostat down 10% in the summer, evening out the gains?
In essence I'm American and living the American life-style. Unless I make radical changes, such as going off the grid or replacing my house with an earthship, are the changes worth it? They are small and mere drops in the larger sea of energy usage.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
DMV Follow-up
The DMV visit was fantastic. Never better! Couldn't believe it!
I didn't have an appointment - having been to sick on Thursday to go, I went on Friday with Nook & New Yorker in hand. However, I didn't get to read. My number was called within 10 minutes of arriving. The guy who helped me was very nice. Almost every person who I spoke to congratulated me on my new married status. The were quick, nice, competent. Except for the photo lady - she was a bit scattered and I was left standing for a while, which, in my current state, can get a bit tiresome.
One bad thing - they did warn me that my license might be 2 months to arrive! They are re-vamping the California ID/Driver's Licenses. I'm excited to see what the new one looks like. I do hope my hair looked OK. My last photo was fantastic. The one before, well, I kinda looked like a Russian Prostitute. Bad hair & face day.
One strange thing - I counted 8 babies at the DMV all under the age of two. Very strange. Do we now require drivers licenses for Big Wheels?
The mother of the little tyke next to me was even more odd. She was well manicured with the hair/make-up & nails yet, despite having a toddler in tow, she elected to go wit the four inch, platform, patent leather heels. The shoes I would choose to go clubbing in are her top pick for going to the DMV with baby.
I didn't have an appointment - having been to sick on Thursday to go, I went on Friday with Nook & New Yorker in hand. However, I didn't get to read. My number was called within 10 minutes of arriving. The guy who helped me was very nice. Almost every person who I spoke to congratulated me on my new married status. The were quick, nice, competent. Except for the photo lady - she was a bit scattered and I was left standing for a while, which, in my current state, can get a bit tiresome.
One bad thing - they did warn me that my license might be 2 months to arrive! They are re-vamping the California ID/Driver's Licenses. I'm excited to see what the new one looks like. I do hope my hair looked OK. My last photo was fantastic. The one before, well, I kinda looked like a Russian Prostitute. Bad hair & face day.
One strange thing - I counted 8 babies at the DMV all under the age of two. Very strange. Do we now require drivers licenses for Big Wheels?
The mother of the little tyke next to me was even more odd. She was well manicured with the hair/make-up & nails yet, despite having a toddler in tow, she elected to go wit the four inch, platform, patent leather heels. The shoes I would choose to go clubbing in are her top pick for going to the DMV with baby.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Writer's Block
Yep. I can't find anything to write about today.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have more inspiration?
Tomorrow I'll be sitting at the DMV getting my driver's license updated to reflect my new name. My last few visits to the DMV have confirmed my sense that it is the cesspool of American Culture. Why is the DMV so appealing to those missing teeth, whose educations ceased at the second grade? Is it the hard, plastic seats? The unwashed surfaces? Is it the eternal lines with the mysterious numbering systems? What is it like this in other countries? Marc claims they do it all by mail, so they have avoided the entire entity.
While my favorite moment at the DMV was registering my SLK a few years back. I got it all tested - which was a challenge, as I accidentally called road-side assistance while trying to pop the hood. But the nice man who gave me my place and walking papers sent me of with, "Yo fit to ro'l". Bling Bling in my Black Mercedes!
My experiences tomorrow may provide me with a bleak & dirty muse.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have more inspiration?
Tomorrow I'll be sitting at the DMV getting my driver's license updated to reflect my new name. My last few visits to the DMV have confirmed my sense that it is the cesspool of American Culture. Why is the DMV so appealing to those missing teeth, whose educations ceased at the second grade? Is it the hard, plastic seats? The unwashed surfaces? Is it the eternal lines with the mysterious numbering systems? What is it like this in other countries? Marc claims they do it all by mail, so they have avoided the entire entity.
While my favorite moment at the DMV was registering my SLK a few years back. I got it all tested - which was a challenge, as I accidentally called road-side assistance while trying to pop the hood. But the nice man who gave me my place and walking papers sent me of with, "Yo fit to ro'l". Bling Bling in my Black Mercedes!
My experiences tomorrow may provide me with a bleak & dirty muse.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Fit & Pregnant
I didn't realize exactly how rare fitness was in women. Why this has come to my attention - I am having the hardest time finding information, workouts and fitness gear for pregnant women.
What I can find reflects an image that most women don't do anything vigorous. The maternity shops give you a large cotton t-shirts:
http://www.motherhood.com/maternity/activewear-tees-and-tanks.asp
Seriously - these are my workout top options? None of the options appear to be designed for actual workouts, where one wants the sweat to be wicked-away with special fabrics.
Dropping by Lululemon, a bit proponent of women's fitness I was told, "Our regular clothes have 4 way stretch and can accommodate a pregnant belly." Really? You're telling me this 30 inch waist top will expand by 50% to get abound my belly that I anticipate to be 45 inches around? I have my doubts.
However, even if I can find the clothes, I'll be hard pressed to find a workout. The fitness advice in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (a book that is able to convince more women that they have medical issues than med school is able to create hypochondriacs), includes push-ups against the wall, gentle stretching and other activities for those who find the idea of running a mile unfathomable. May caution against any Real Effort, as that might upset the delicate constitution of a pregnant woman. I'm taking a birthing class and their "exercises" include daily 5 minute walks, a pelvic tilt and squatting.
I know that marathon training & pregnancy aren't really a good combo, yet there is nothing for the expecting mother who, at the start of the pregnancy could go out and knock out 3 miles in 30 minutes. Suddenly I'm being told not to do to much - 5-30 minutes a day of walking should do it. I do that with the dogs - what am I supposed to do to keep fit?
Is the limited number of products an indication of a limited audience? Are there so few women who are fit and want to stay that way during pregnancy? I can't be the only one.
What I can find reflects an image that most women don't do anything vigorous. The maternity shops give you a large cotton t-shirts:
http://www.motherhood.com/maternity/activewear-tees-and-tanks.asp
Seriously - these are my workout top options? None of the options appear to be designed for actual workouts, where one wants the sweat to be wicked-away with special fabrics.
Dropping by Lululemon, a bit proponent of women's fitness I was told, "Our regular clothes have 4 way stretch and can accommodate a pregnant belly." Really? You're telling me this 30 inch waist top will expand by 50% to get abound my belly that I anticipate to be 45 inches around? I have my doubts.
However, even if I can find the clothes, I'll be hard pressed to find a workout. The fitness advice in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (a book that is able to convince more women that they have medical issues than med school is able to create hypochondriacs), includes push-ups against the wall, gentle stretching and other activities for those who find the idea of running a mile unfathomable. May caution against any Real Effort, as that might upset the delicate constitution of a pregnant woman. I'm taking a birthing class and their "exercises" include daily 5 minute walks, a pelvic tilt and squatting.
I know that marathon training & pregnancy aren't really a good combo, yet there is nothing for the expecting mother who, at the start of the pregnancy could go out and knock out 3 miles in 30 minutes. Suddenly I'm being told not to do to much - 5-30 minutes a day of walking should do it. I do that with the dogs - what am I supposed to do to keep fit?
Is the limited number of products an indication of a limited audience? Are there so few women who are fit and want to stay that way during pregnancy? I can't be the only one.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas Letter
I'm not as clever as David Sedaris yet I still have urge to write a Christmas Letter. Unfortunately you're not as likely to laugh reading mine.
So 2010 was quite a year. As most know, I was pretty blue at the start of it. The wind still knocked out of me from brother Warren's unexpected suicide in Nov 2009. But I did have a highlight the first week of 2010 when I got to meet baby niece Lilly-Mac (we are hoping she'll be eligible for government bail-outs later in life). Lillian McNamara Delano appeared Dec 2009 and has been growing ever since. Little Brother Brendan & awesome sister-in-law Kate tend to her whims at their house in Greenbrae.
While I was happy for them, I was even happier for myself - Marc & I conceived in early January. Unfortunately God smacks down the smug and I miscarried in March. Just to smite me, I learned about the death of two friends about that time as well. Could it get any worse? Yes! I had blabbed about the pregnancy to everyone at Warren's memorial only to miscarry a few weeks later. Nothing like being asked repeatedly for the due date when the baby was only a memory.
Yet, not to be dismayed, I took a job change. However the job wasn't a good fit and by April I had landed myself in the therapist's office. I have since learned that I am not quite equipped to handle two deaths in the family, a miscarriage, two deaths among my friends and an unhappy job change. Make note for future stressful times. I do not know how I would have managed had I not had Marc with me through this rough patch.
Life kept coming and, like a well written play, comic relief injected it self over the summer. Our first laugh came from David & Ashley's wedding in Kansas City, MO. Marc & I journeyed with Dad, Aunt Sally, Uncle Richard, Cousin Dania & her husband Chris to Mid-Continent International airport. We enjoyed the family time at Aunt Nancy's house before & after the wedding. The day of the wedding we were in town with the Cousin Nathan, Cousin Dania & Hubby Chris. Dania & Chris offered to let Cousin Nathan, Marc & I use their suite to get dressed for the wedding, as they were staying closer. When Marc when to change, he realized that I had left his pants at our hotel room. Whoops! A quick trip to the local Brooks Brothers and we were again on our way. Even with the store run, we were early to the wedding. We made the logical decision to not spend the extra 45 minutes waiting in the Church, but to find the closest Bar and get liquored up. We all found the service much more fun than the rest of the family.
Barely a month later the family again gathered, this time in Port Huron, MI. Mom & I traveled together to attend Grandmother Polly's internment. Thankfully we had brought our passports as I took wrong exit and we crossed a bridge over a canal to find ourselves in Canada. Whoops! After much begging and pleading one of the boarder guards gave in and stamped my passport. I did need proof of our trip! Other highlights on the trip was meeting Cousin Alie, meeting Luisa, Cousin David's now wife and taking a ride in the Cris Craft that impressed on my father the coolness of wooden boats.
Other summer highlights included a visit from Marc's mother & brother. Later Marc's Aunt Christine, husband Pete and cousins Livy & Alex showed up. Their visits resulted in multiple trips to Yosemite and even a mule ride. Great to get to know my future family better, even if they called eggplant aubergine.
Late in the summer our luck changed for the better. There was a shuffle in the teams at the office which almost moved me to DC. However instead, they made me a sweet offer to get me back in my old role. After a week of deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be happy with what I'm doing than be doing a job that could be better for my career.
Not long after the job reversion, Marc & I got the house situation resolved. The house is ours and at actual market value. Yippee! That finalized while we were enjoying a weekend in Massachusetts. The other Cousin David was marrying his beautiful German bride, Luisa, on Cape Cod. Lovely service and very enjoyable wedding! This time we got liquored up at the wedding instead of before. We took a side trip on the way there to visit my Alma Mater, Smith. Boy has the campus changed! The students looked the same. The town was slightly larger yet still full of restaurants and shops geared to the college crowd.
Another stroke of luck came with getting pregnant and making it successfully through the first trimester. We finally had a due date we could share - May 15th. With the pregnancy and the house was settled, we were able to plan our wedding!
Thanksgiving arrived and we got Marc's mum to come back to attend, as we weren't going to be able to get to England for Christmas... or so we said. Once she arrived, we revealed the real plans: To get married at Dad's on Thanksgiving and fly off to Fiji for a two week honeymoon. The wedding went off beautifully. The sun cooperated and we were married on Dad's deck in Sausalito. Dad did the ceremony, Brendan held the rings & took photos, Kate was Matron of Honor and dog watcher, Mom & Mum were witnesses and Cathy did a reading. The service was short and perfect. I had always felt that Dad's deck was the perfect place to get married and it was. The meal was perfect - Turkey and all the trimmings.
Two weeks in Fiji with lots of sun & snorkeling - heaven after the long & turbulent year. We got home to find that Christmas was in full swing. Yet after living for weeks without To Do lists or work, getting in the Santa Swing was tough. We skip the tree and enjoyed Christmas Eve at Dad's - complete with Yorkshire pudding. Christmas Dad was at Kate & Brendan's place. Kate's family was in town and we are SO happy that her brother Chip has returned whole & unharmed from his time in Iraq.
I'm hoping we're back on an upswing for 2011. All my best to you & your family.
Jennifer
So 2010 was quite a year. As most know, I was pretty blue at the start of it. The wind still knocked out of me from brother Warren's unexpected suicide in Nov 2009. But I did have a highlight the first week of 2010 when I got to meet baby niece Lilly-Mac (we are hoping she'll be eligible for government bail-outs later in life). Lillian McNamara Delano appeared Dec 2009 and has been growing ever since. Little Brother Brendan & awesome sister-in-law Kate tend to her whims at their house in Greenbrae.
While I was happy for them, I was even happier for myself - Marc & I conceived in early January. Unfortunately God smacks down the smug and I miscarried in March. Just to smite me, I learned about the death of two friends about that time as well. Could it get any worse? Yes! I had blabbed about the pregnancy to everyone at Warren's memorial only to miscarry a few weeks later. Nothing like being asked repeatedly for the due date when the baby was only a memory.
Yet, not to be dismayed, I took a job change. However the job wasn't a good fit and by April I had landed myself in the therapist's office. I have since learned that I am not quite equipped to handle two deaths in the family, a miscarriage, two deaths among my friends and an unhappy job change. Make note for future stressful times. I do not know how I would have managed had I not had Marc with me through this rough patch.
Life kept coming and, like a well written play, comic relief injected it self over the summer. Our first laugh came from David & Ashley's wedding in Kansas City, MO. Marc & I journeyed with Dad, Aunt Sally, Uncle Richard, Cousin Dania & her husband Chris to Mid-Continent International airport. We enjoyed the family time at Aunt Nancy's house before & after the wedding. The day of the wedding we were in town with the Cousin Nathan, Cousin Dania & Hubby Chris. Dania & Chris offered to let Cousin Nathan, Marc & I use their suite to get dressed for the wedding, as they were staying closer. When Marc when to change, he realized that I had left his pants at our hotel room. Whoops! A quick trip to the local Brooks Brothers and we were again on our way. Even with the store run, we were early to the wedding. We made the logical decision to not spend the extra 45 minutes waiting in the Church, but to find the closest Bar and get liquored up. We all found the service much more fun than the rest of the family.
Barely a month later the family again gathered, this time in Port Huron, MI. Mom & I traveled together to attend Grandmother Polly's internment. Thankfully we had brought our passports as I took wrong exit and we crossed a bridge over a canal to find ourselves in Canada. Whoops! After much begging and pleading one of the boarder guards gave in and stamped my passport. I did need proof of our trip! Other highlights on the trip was meeting Cousin Alie, meeting Luisa, Cousin David's now wife and taking a ride in the Cris Craft that impressed on my father the coolness of wooden boats.
Other summer highlights included a visit from Marc's mother & brother. Later Marc's Aunt Christine, husband Pete and cousins Livy & Alex showed up. Their visits resulted in multiple trips to Yosemite and even a mule ride. Great to get to know my future family better, even if they called eggplant aubergine.
Late in the summer our luck changed for the better. There was a shuffle in the teams at the office which almost moved me to DC. However instead, they made me a sweet offer to get me back in my old role. After a week of deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I'd rather be happy with what I'm doing than be doing a job that could be better for my career.
Not long after the job reversion, Marc & I got the house situation resolved. The house is ours and at actual market value. Yippee! That finalized while we were enjoying a weekend in Massachusetts. The other Cousin David was marrying his beautiful German bride, Luisa, on Cape Cod. Lovely service and very enjoyable wedding! This time we got liquored up at the wedding instead of before. We took a side trip on the way there to visit my Alma Mater, Smith. Boy has the campus changed! The students looked the same. The town was slightly larger yet still full of restaurants and shops geared to the college crowd.
Another stroke of luck came with getting pregnant and making it successfully through the first trimester. We finally had a due date we could share - May 15th. With the pregnancy and the house was settled, we were able to plan our wedding!
Thanksgiving arrived and we got Marc's mum to come back to attend, as we weren't going to be able to get to England for Christmas... or so we said. Once she arrived, we revealed the real plans: To get married at Dad's on Thanksgiving and fly off to Fiji for a two week honeymoon. The wedding went off beautifully. The sun cooperated and we were married on Dad's deck in Sausalito. Dad did the ceremony, Brendan held the rings & took photos, Kate was Matron of Honor and dog watcher, Mom & Mum were witnesses and Cathy did a reading. The service was short and perfect. I had always felt that Dad's deck was the perfect place to get married and it was. The meal was perfect - Turkey and all the trimmings.
Two weeks in Fiji with lots of sun & snorkeling - heaven after the long & turbulent year. We got home to find that Christmas was in full swing. Yet after living for weeks without To Do lists or work, getting in the Santa Swing was tough. We skip the tree and enjoyed Christmas Eve at Dad's - complete with Yorkshire pudding. Christmas Dad was at Kate & Brendan's place. Kate's family was in town and we are SO happy that her brother Chip has returned whole & unharmed from his time in Iraq.
I'm hoping we're back on an upswing for 2011. All my best to you & your family.
Jennifer
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Blossoming Bellies
I'm told that I should feel the baby move any time now. I'm 1 day shy of 20 weeks and eager to feel that first kick. I may have felt it already, just not realized what it was. As for this week's status report: "Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana." Yikes. I've got a banana tucked into a melon in my abdomen! You think I'd notice if the banana decided to move around.
But what's really kicking me is the pregnancy rules. It seems that almost everyone wants to get in on the game of telling expecting women what they should or should not be doing. Some times it makes sense - Don't take Aleve or ibuprofen because it will increase the rate of birth defects by 7%. Some times it doesn't - you cannot wear high heels. (I realize I might not want to wear heels while pregnant, but how is that going to damage the baby's development, exactly?)
I labor under the abundant unwanted advice that is thrown at me: eat fish, but don't eat *that* fish. I'm struck by the urge to say either, "Shove it" or "Do you realize how dumb you sound?" From what position to sleep in (left-side) to the shoes I should we wearing (no heels, no flip-flops), to my choice in lunch (no sushi, no deli meat or hot dogs) I'm sick of these rules.
I am not only amazed that the wrap-the-pregnant-woman-in-bubble-wrap mentality, I'm also stunned that so many women I know to be smart & thinking women buy into it. Does it ever occur to them that, "Hey, we've managed to keep the human race reproducing for nearly 40,000 years and only in the last 100 or so years have we seen these rules. Maybe it is mostly hype? The women in France seem to be enjoying brie with not a noticeably higher rate of miscarriage" Poll the women 60 & older - they'll tell you that they drank while pregnant with you and you seem (mostly) OK. Maybe this has to do with the desire to just let go for 40 weeks - "No, hon, I can't clean the kitchen, my doctor says to take it easy. Yet, when I miscarried, I was told that it was likely genetic - not that lovely Camembert cheese I had.
I'm a little slow, yet what I'm coming to understand is that this is the pre-birth version of Mothers Guilt. While Freud started this movement with his blame your mother psychology, the tone and rigor escalated once women who didn't need to work yet didn't want to stay home put on their hats and got jobs. I can recall the news casts talking about how scarred latch key kids would be as adults. I was a latch-key kid and I seem to be a (mostly) well adjusted adult.
Thankfully, we've seen the real data - a generation and a half having grown up without mom home baking cookies - and so far, so good. Lately the tactics seems to be focused on getting mothers to feel guilty that they aren't providing enough opportunities for their child to thrive in. Hence the well scheduled & over-planned life of the modern child - from play date to music lesson to soccer practice, and woe be to the mother who doesn't make a good, home-cooked meal after busing Junior around all day. Just stop already.
I do say that all women should find the right balance for themselves. My balance involves an occasional drink of wine, nearly daily work-outs and all the blue cheese I can eat - balanced with my 5-7 servings of fruits & veg, one of which should be a leafy green and total ban on caffiene, unless it is in that chocolate I just noshed.
But what's really kicking me is the pregnancy rules. It seems that almost everyone wants to get in on the game of telling expecting women what they should or should not be doing. Some times it makes sense - Don't take Aleve or ibuprofen because it will increase the rate of birth defects by 7%. Some times it doesn't - you cannot wear high heels. (I realize I might not want to wear heels while pregnant, but how is that going to damage the baby's development, exactly?)
I labor under the abundant unwanted advice that is thrown at me: eat fish, but don't eat *that* fish. I'm struck by the urge to say either, "Shove it" or "Do you realize how dumb you sound?" From what position to sleep in (left-side) to the shoes I should we wearing (no heels, no flip-flops), to my choice in lunch (no sushi, no deli meat or hot dogs) I'm sick of these rules.
I am not only amazed that the wrap-the-pregnant-woman-in-bubble-wrap mentality, I'm also stunned that so many women I know to be smart & thinking women buy into it. Does it ever occur to them that, "Hey, we've managed to keep the human race reproducing for nearly 40,000 years and only in the last 100 or so years have we seen these rules. Maybe it is mostly hype? The women in France seem to be enjoying brie with not a noticeably higher rate of miscarriage" Poll the women 60 & older - they'll tell you that they drank while pregnant with you and you seem (mostly) OK. Maybe this has to do with the desire to just let go for 40 weeks - "No, hon, I can't clean the kitchen, my doctor says to take it easy. Yet, when I miscarried, I was told that it was likely genetic - not that lovely Camembert cheese I had.
I'm a little slow, yet what I'm coming to understand is that this is the pre-birth version of Mothers Guilt. While Freud started this movement with his blame your mother psychology, the tone and rigor escalated once women who didn't need to work yet didn't want to stay home put on their hats and got jobs. I can recall the news casts talking about how scarred latch key kids would be as adults. I was a latch-key kid and I seem to be a (mostly) well adjusted adult.
Thankfully, we've seen the real data - a generation and a half having grown up without mom home baking cookies - and so far, so good. Lately the tactics seems to be focused on getting mothers to feel guilty that they aren't providing enough opportunities for their child to thrive in. Hence the well scheduled & over-planned life of the modern child - from play date to music lesson to soccer practice, and woe be to the mother who doesn't make a good, home-cooked meal after busing Junior around all day. Just stop already.
I do say that all women should find the right balance for themselves. My balance involves an occasional drink of wine, nearly daily work-outs and all the blue cheese I can eat - balanced with my 5-7 servings of fruits & veg, one of which should be a leafy green and total ban on caffiene, unless it is in that chocolate I just noshed.
Friday, December 17, 2010
The Wedding
Oh whoops - I promised a report on the wedding plan.
Here's how it happened....
As we we looking at our due date and considering our post-house purchase financial status, I suggested that spending $15k - $20K next summer, on an event that we'd have to fund, plan and execute while dealing with being a parents of a 2 month old seemed like a lot. We both missed out on a honeymoon the first time round and, with our current wedding budget projections, it looked like we would miss it the 2nd time round as well. So I suggested we elope. The only problem - I didn't want to get married outside the US and Marc didn't want to honeymoon in the US. He explains, "It isn't a real trip if they speak English & use US Dollars."
So, what if we got married on the down-low here in the US and then run off? I labeled it "faux-loping". Sounded good to me. We were mulling over plans and bringing in Dad & Cathy to co-conspired with us at Cousin David's wedding to the lovely Luisa on Cape Cod. Also at that event a conversation with my Aunt who tells me, "It just isn't right to elope. Part of getting married is sharing the even with friends & family..." Great, she didn't even know our plans and was already condemning them!
We then decided where to go - at first we were thinking Australia, but then realized there was too much to do/see. So we took it down a notch and decided that after this crazy year, we could really do with some quiet together time. Fiji came on the radar. Cousin Dania gave us good advice on where to go.
So, the event - well, we got Marc's mom to agree to come out for Thanksgiving. She wasn't sure why, but we got here here just the same. We worked out the planning, flowers & cake with Dad & Cathy. I had a tough time with a dress - what is the appropriate attire for a Thanksgiving Day, 2nd Wedding, at my father's house while pregnant? The long white gown was SO out. And finding something that doesn't look like it should be worn to the prom/opera gala/office can be tough!
But we worked it all out. We told the other attendees - My mom, little brother & sister-in-law on the precessing Tuesday. They were all excited and sworn to secrecy. The weather cooperated with a sunny day. We decided that the deck with the view would be ideal. Everyone arrive by about 11:30. We realized that Dad wasn't going to be able to read the ceremony from his iPad, so we put it on the nook. Sister-in-law helped me get dressed and led me to the alter at the right time. Both Mom's signed the paperwork. Step-mom read a passage. Little Brother took photos and tended the rings.
We said "I Do" and exchanged the rings then a kiss. Dad didn't let little brother bring the shot-gun for some silly photos. We had a toast (I got a baby glass of champagne). We enjoyed Cathy's traditional Thanksgiving feast. We cut the cake and then caught a flight to LA to catch the evening non-stop to Nadi, Fiji.
As soon as we boarded the plane, we changed our status on Facebook & turned off our phones for the next 2 weeks.
Three weeks, 1 day we've been married. I'm happy. Oh so happy. So there's the scoop.
Here's how it happened....
As we we looking at our due date and considering our post-house purchase financial status, I suggested that spending $15k - $20K next summer, on an event that we'd have to fund, plan and execute while dealing with being a parents of a 2 month old seemed like a lot. We both missed out on a honeymoon the first time round and, with our current wedding budget projections, it looked like we would miss it the 2nd time round as well. So I suggested we elope. The only problem - I didn't want to get married outside the US and Marc didn't want to honeymoon in the US. He explains, "It isn't a real trip if they speak English & use US Dollars."
So, what if we got married on the down-low here in the US and then run off? I labeled it "faux-loping". Sounded good to me. We were mulling over plans and bringing in Dad & Cathy to co-conspired with us at Cousin David's wedding to the lovely Luisa on Cape Cod. Also at that event a conversation with my Aunt who tells me, "It just isn't right to elope. Part of getting married is sharing the even with friends & family..." Great, she didn't even know our plans and was already condemning them!
We then decided where to go - at first we were thinking Australia, but then realized there was too much to do/see. So we took it down a notch and decided that after this crazy year, we could really do with some quiet together time. Fiji came on the radar. Cousin Dania gave us good advice on where to go.
So, the event - well, we got Marc's mom to agree to come out for Thanksgiving. She wasn't sure why, but we got here here just the same. We worked out the planning, flowers & cake with Dad & Cathy. I had a tough time with a dress - what is the appropriate attire for a Thanksgiving Day, 2nd Wedding, at my father's house while pregnant? The long white gown was SO out. And finding something that doesn't look like it should be worn to the prom/opera gala/office can be tough!
But we worked it all out. We told the other attendees - My mom, little brother & sister-in-law on the precessing Tuesday. They were all excited and sworn to secrecy. The weather cooperated with a sunny day. We decided that the deck with the view would be ideal. Everyone arrive by about 11:30. We realized that Dad wasn't going to be able to read the ceremony from his iPad, so we put it on the nook. Sister-in-law helped me get dressed and led me to the alter at the right time. Both Mom's signed the paperwork. Step-mom read a passage. Little Brother took photos and tended the rings.
We said "I Do" and exchanged the rings then a kiss. Dad didn't let little brother bring the shot-gun for some silly photos. We had a toast (I got a baby glass of champagne). We enjoyed Cathy's traditional Thanksgiving feast. We cut the cake and then caught a flight to LA to catch the evening non-stop to Nadi, Fiji.
As soon as we boarded the plane, we changed our status on Facebook & turned off our phones for the next 2 weeks.
Three weeks, 1 day we've been married. I'm happy. Oh so happy. So there's the scoop.
My Belly Preceeds Me
I'm coming up on 18 weeks. I'm eager to pass the 20 week mark so that I'm official half way to my delivery day. This is the I'm-not-fat-I'm-pregnant phase. I find myself telling anyone who will listen, "I'm pregnant!". I've gained ten lbs (some of that is the baby, some is the Fiji Honeymoon). My waist has expanded four inches. My clothes don't fit anymore. For the first time in four weeks I was in the office. The female coworker say they see it. Yet asking a male colleague, he responded, "Jen, no male's eyes will notice your stomach". I realized that due to my increase in cup size, 99.9% of men will find their eyes unable to drift below my blossoming boobs.
I've notices my breasts too. I noticed that, when I got hit my a jelly fish in the water, I was unable to see my waist, as the boobs blocked my view. I've noticed that while swimming in the ocean my nipples felt like they were getting run through a grater. They may be big & luscious, yet they are totally "Look but Don't Touch". Today's advice: a month before the baby is due, start brushing your nipples with a toothbrush to help desensitize them and make breastfeeding easier.
Aside from the onslaught of advice (were women really able to reproduce when they didn't know that they could kill the baby by lying on their backs??) which, as a pregnant woman, I've found myself drowning in, I'm finding myself awash with, "Congratulations". I just got out of nature's way, had some fun and here I am expecting the next generation. It takes no brains - as we can see on 16 and Pregnant - no brains at all to get pregnant. I know those of us 30+ do have a harder time, yet, for the most part, it felt good and I think Marc did all the work. It is like getting Congratulated for finishing a big bowl of Ben & Jerry's.
As my belly grows, I bet the weirdness responses will only increase. Last night, hubby looks over at me while I'm chopping veggies for dinner and says, "You do look pregnant". "Really?" I wonder, or do I just look like I have a belly? Of course I have to sneak upstairs to the full length mirror to check. When I have good posture, my belly doesn't go out farther than my breasts. When I slouch - my belly precedes my boobs. Belly - no Belly - Belly - no Belly.
Yes, I'm pregnant but one of the few things I've liked about my body is my flat stomach. My thighs break my heart, but my belly and narrow waist make me proud. Now the belly is not flat. I look down and my belly is blocking my view. How? Why? Did I really let this happen? I want to look pregnant, not big-bellied, is that possible? So many months to go before I diet... so many months to go...
I've notices my breasts too. I noticed that, when I got hit my a jelly fish in the water, I was unable to see my waist, as the boobs blocked my view. I've noticed that while swimming in the ocean my nipples felt like they were getting run through a grater. They may be big & luscious, yet they are totally "Look but Don't Touch". Today's advice: a month before the baby is due, start brushing your nipples with a toothbrush to help desensitize them and make breastfeeding easier.
Aside from the onslaught of advice (were women really able to reproduce when they didn't know that they could kill the baby by lying on their backs??) which, as a pregnant woman, I've found myself drowning in, I'm finding myself awash with, "Congratulations". I just got out of nature's way, had some fun and here I am expecting the next generation. It takes no brains - as we can see on 16 and Pregnant - no brains at all to get pregnant. I know those of us 30+ do have a harder time, yet, for the most part, it felt good and I think Marc did all the work. It is like getting Congratulated for finishing a big bowl of Ben & Jerry's.
As my belly grows, I bet the weirdness responses will only increase. Last night, hubby looks over at me while I'm chopping veggies for dinner and says, "You do look pregnant". "Really?" I wonder, or do I just look like I have a belly? Of course I have to sneak upstairs to the full length mirror to check. When I have good posture, my belly doesn't go out farther than my breasts. When I slouch - my belly precedes my boobs. Belly - no Belly - Belly - no Belly.
Yes, I'm pregnant but one of the few things I've liked about my body is my flat stomach. My thighs break my heart, but my belly and narrow waist make me proud. Now the belly is not flat. I look down and my belly is blocking my view. How? Why? Did I really let this happen? I want to look pregnant, not big-bellied, is that possible? So many months to go before I diet... so many months to go...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Settling down again
Life seems to have slowed, finally. The house is settled. I'm pregnant. We have a plan for our wedding - I'll tell you about that in a week or so, once the details are worked out.
The last year happened behind closed doors. From the miscarriage back in March, which may have contributed to a depression in the following months (was reading about this the other day). It took 5 months for my body to recover which, doubtlessly taxed my emotions. Combining that with a job change that, while possibly being of more career advantage, diminished my happiness level. Hanging over my head the whole time was the, "are we moving or are we staying"?
All of it felt too personal to write about. It overshadowed my adventures such that I couldn't feel compelled to write about it.
In the end, things appear to be working out. I'm back in my old job, with added responsibilities and the coworkers I adore. Since we know we're staying in the house, I got 270 bulbs to plant in the garden this weekend. I've fallen in love with the comfort of maternity pants.
My home is happy. Marc takes good care of me. He's been nudging me to be more careful of what I eat while pregnant. I do push for my 5 servings of fruits & veggies, he's trying to keep the excess Halloween candy out of my grubby paws. Although we do have a standoff - he refuses the flu shot & I'm refusing to stop consuming all types of cheese (save queso fresco which has been clearly linked to Listeria infections).
With all these changes for the better, I hope to restart writing regularly again. No longer do I have anything to hide. Until I have the baby and do something like drop it or leave it unattended near an open power socket.
The last year happened behind closed doors. From the miscarriage back in March, which may have contributed to a depression in the following months (was reading about this the other day). It took 5 months for my body to recover which, doubtlessly taxed my emotions. Combining that with a job change that, while possibly being of more career advantage, diminished my happiness level. Hanging over my head the whole time was the, "are we moving or are we staying"?
All of it felt too personal to write about. It overshadowed my adventures such that I couldn't feel compelled to write about it.
In the end, things appear to be working out. I'm back in my old job, with added responsibilities and the coworkers I adore. Since we know we're staying in the house, I got 270 bulbs to plant in the garden this weekend. I've fallen in love with the comfort of maternity pants.
My home is happy. Marc takes good care of me. He's been nudging me to be more careful of what I eat while pregnant. I do push for my 5 servings of fruits & veggies, he's trying to keep the excess Halloween candy out of my grubby paws. Although we do have a standoff - he refuses the flu shot & I'm refusing to stop consuming all types of cheese (save queso fresco which has been clearly linked to Listeria infections).
With all these changes for the better, I hope to restart writing regularly again. No longer do I have anything to hide. Until I have the baby and do something like drop it or leave it unattended near an open power socket.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Autobiography
On the way home today, Bill Bryson reading his book "At Home" to me, described a 19th century explorer who, after returning to England to find his fortune in tatters, retired to his bed too lethargic to write his own autobiography.
And my first thought was, "I'm not sure we missed much." Terrible. I have a suspicion of Autobiographies. Now, to be clear, we're not talking about memoirs - those books that can engage the reader while recanting a story of a specific time or experience.
Instead of engaging or amusing the autobiography often has an agenda. Instead of amusement they often have agendas and self-promotion. I attempted to read Carly Fiorina's autobiography yet found it a description of how she glossed through life, with effortless ease having one blessed opportunity after another come her way. Of course she worked hard.
Yet even if the work was supposed to be an honest account of one's personal history, we all put bias into our memories. Just ask any researcher who studies the recall of events. Of course, if you're involved in a traffic accident, you'll recall the situation as much to your favor as possible. However, even when the person was a disinterested observer researchers find people are unable to recall the event correctly (as compared to a video chronicle of the situation). How could that tendency not be magnified when looking at one's own life?
I imagine writing my own autobiography, yet my thought is, "Who the hell would care?" Really. I haven't Done anything. My life has been rich, yet benign & bourgeois. Granted, if you're reading this, you know me and probably find certain times of my life (specifically those you shared with me) more interesting and possibly worthy of a memoir, were I to find a better writer than myself to ghost write it.
Going beyond a memoir, for an autobiography, how do I choose which events to include? How do I determine what caused what? Did my reaction to having physicians as parents result me in shunning that profession or was it actually due to my decision that biology was numbingly dull? What impact did that 7th grade boyfriend actually have on me? How much truth is there in my job history narrative that I tell all potential employers?
Now, for someone who has a blog it may seem silly to say such things about autobiographies. You're probably right. And then, I don't really expect anyone to read my blog - I mean, don't you have better things to do?
And my first thought was, "I'm not sure we missed much." Terrible. I have a suspicion of Autobiographies. Now, to be clear, we're not talking about memoirs - those books that can engage the reader while recanting a story of a specific time or experience.
Instead of engaging or amusing the autobiography often has an agenda. Instead of amusement they often have agendas and self-promotion. I attempted to read Carly Fiorina's autobiography yet found it a description of how she glossed through life, with effortless ease having one blessed opportunity after another come her way. Of course she worked hard.
Yet even if the work was supposed to be an honest account of one's personal history, we all put bias into our memories. Just ask any researcher who studies the recall of events. Of course, if you're involved in a traffic accident, you'll recall the situation as much to your favor as possible. However, even when the person was a disinterested observer researchers find people are unable to recall the event correctly (as compared to a video chronicle of the situation). How could that tendency not be magnified when looking at one's own life?
I imagine writing my own autobiography, yet my thought is, "Who the hell would care?" Really. I haven't Done anything. My life has been rich, yet benign & bourgeois. Granted, if you're reading this, you know me and probably find certain times of my life (specifically those you shared with me) more interesting and possibly worthy of a memoir, were I to find a better writer than myself to ghost write it.
Going beyond a memoir, for an autobiography, how do I choose which events to include? How do I determine what caused what? Did my reaction to having physicians as parents result me in shunning that profession or was it actually due to my decision that biology was numbingly dull? What impact did that 7th grade boyfriend actually have on me? How much truth is there in my job history narrative that I tell all potential employers?
Now, for someone who has a blog it may seem silly to say such things about autobiographies. You're probably right. And then, I don't really expect anyone to read my blog - I mean, don't you have better things to do?
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