Monday, October 31, 2011

Science Experiment

I've decided to do a follow-up study to R Soussignan's discoveries regarding how smiling causes an uplift in mood.

Having further meditated on my dissatisfaction with my recent photos (see my last post), I think I also find that I don't look happy enough in pictures. When not posed, candid shots have recently found me with some pretty unpleasant expressions - revulsion, disdain, annoyance. I don't associate those emotions with myself, and feel my photos should not reflect feelings I don't think I feel. I want the photos to reflect to reflect my inner peace, unfortunately that may already be the case.

Back to my cunning plan; Instead of spending endless hours in therapy or meditation, I think I have a quick fix to some of my internal turmoil woes. I have been reflecting on the nature of the body and emotions. I believe it to be a two way street. Not only will I try to smile more - I'll channel that Buddha half smile at all time - I will release the tension from my shoulders.

While getting a massage a few years back the therapist told me that she has be trying to get my shoulders to relax and move away from my ears. According to her, every time she pushed my shoulders down, they popped right back up again. I thought it odd and now, I am SO much more tranquil and told the story to my massage therapist last week. She confirmed that my shoulders still like to creep up to my ears.

So, I've decided to spend a week or two consciously putting more space between the ears and shoulders. I expect this to impact my mood. No more sourpuss photos - just beauty and joy. Much cheaper than a face lift and less effort than finding zen.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Right before I went on my first jog in 2 weeks I took a look at the photos that Marc had uploaded of our trips to England, Italy and Napa. I really didn't enjoy seeing myself. I recall thinking that I was photogenic when I was younger - even into my mid-20's. But now, in my mid-30's, I feel like every photo catches me at a bad angle.

As I pumped my arms and pushed through that 3rd mile at my 11 minute/mile pace. I envisioned myself thinner. What would I look like 40 lbs lighter? I haven't weighed that little since middle school. Would the loss of those pounds suddenly make me look like a celebrity? Would it fix mt stray hairs? Improve my make-up & wardrobe choices?

Coming down the final stretch, I realized that I might be looking for something in the photos that isn't there - the me of 10 years ago. I get compliments about my appearance, so I can't be as ugly as I see myself. And it dawned on me, the photos might look like a woman in her 30's rather than in her 20's. Not much I can do about that.

Not much chance that I'll get those extra 40 lbs off in the next year. I'm hoping to be pregnant in another 3 months and Marc doesn't let me diet when pregnant or nursing - something about not starving the baby. Maybe by the time I'm 40 I'll have the body I did when I was 15.