Tuesday, September 18, 2007

4 Minutes Twice a Day

So I was reading Social Intelligence a few months back and they cited a book Contact: The First Four Minutes by Zunin, Leonard. The idea is, when you meet someone or initiate contact, the first 4 minutes make the biggest impression. Be it for a sales meeting, date or just time with friends & family. Focus on making an effort in the first four minutes and you'll get better results and relationships.

The idea passed along, specifically in relation to relationships, is that the two most important times of day are when you wake up and when you get home. At these two times, the couple should take 4 minutes to focus on each other and the relationship. This manifests in a chat about ideas, or about each other - no dumping, no honey-do lists, just stop what you're doing and focus on the person.

Greg and I have implemented this and it is such a highlight of our day. I get up super early and then, when Greg wakes up, we go out to the couch and have a few minutes... sometimes it morphs into other discussions or lasts closer to 20 minutes. And then the same goes when we both get home. We both look forward to it now.

The other day, we didn't do our 4 minutes and it made me cranky for quite a while. I hadn't realized how much I look forward to my fix. Even when I asked for it, it wasn't enough. Funny, how a such a small thing has such a big impact. I like having two times each day when I get 100% of Greg's attention. He get's 100% of mine. We share, chat, flirt, tease and often cuddle - providing neither of us is straight from a work-out and covered in sweat.

It makes a big difference - Give it a try.

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