Greg is off at a conference and my little brother's wife is off for work, so we hung out and had dinner together. Me, BCD and his two dogs: Maggie and Zach. Zach growls when he's getting the petting and strokes he likes. Maggie is only a year old and is still very much a puppy. I have fun with Zach, the old grouch and take time to train Maggie. She seems to like discipline.
I had hoped to get a view of Maggie singing as she did for You Tube, but she was feeling shy tonight.
BCD and I chatted about the family - I think partly as we had just had the cousin convention. We could see patterns of behavior and how specific people's behavior caused ripples that cascade out through our generation.
Just yesterday I was reflecting on some of my own patterns of thought. It occurred to me that I don't like to lose, give-up or reject people who may or may not be contributing much to my life any more. Many times I've been asked, "Why are you friends with her/him/them?".
It took a while, but I finally have a response: "Because Jenny Gelb and Anna Moore were mean to me when we were in grade school." I was sleeping over at one of their houses and I clearly recall being asked to find fault with another girl in our class. "Tell me what you don't like about Shiera."
Nearly 30 years later the scars are still visible - I cling on to old friends, as I do my Dukes of Hazard Lunch box. And I can be wickedly petty - Just give me another chance, Jenny Gelb, I can answer your query about Shiera. Have I spent 25 years practicing and honing my response?
Now that is just in my life. With BCD we can inspect the familial ripples. Our big question, what happened to our family matriarch. Where did she get the mean streak that ties into her obsession with people's weight? What happened? Her comments needle 2 generations and it is possible that it will linger in other ways on her 3rd.
More reason to stick to the light. Focus on love. Be grateful. Prefer silence to apologies. Harsh words linger.
