Lesson Learned

Yesterday I got implanted with Implanon - No, Dad, I'm not really having sex (not that I could claim purity after being married) I just want to regulate my cycle. It was an amazingly easy procedure. What I didn't expect was that my upper left arm was going to be wrapped in a mummy-like bandage that can't get wet for 24 hours... then I have an under bandage (tape in an X over the wound) that needs to stay on for 3-5 days. Great... I thought I could handle it.

Well, until now. Greg flew out last night and I'm on my own to care for myself. This morning trying I had to figure out how to keep my bandage dry, as instructed, while showering. I concocted a super-bandage out of packing tape & a plastic bag. Getting it strapped on was a challenge and I felt pretty studly after doing it all one-handed. But then, while cutting it off I realized that the mummy bandage was soaking wet. It had to go - I don't think a wet, possibly spore infested compress would be good for me, especially with those recent reports of killer staph.

So off goes the mummy and then I realize that the insertion caused a bit of bruising. I've got a skinny, 2 inch long strip of bruise that looks like some sci-fi creature. Fun - I'll have to keep my arm down while at the pool tomorrow (I'll be soaking up rays in Palm Springs).

Now, thinking about that Staph again, I'm figuring that I need to put something over the X bandage, which seems a bit too open. I go into the medicine basket and find a large bandage. I put it on and all's well, right? Noooo... I didn't realize that the mummy bandage was immobilizing the X bandage. Now it is free to move with my arm and I swear I'm ripping open the 1/8 in' cut each time I move my left arm.

The pain brings tears to my eyes and, more annoyingly, it is both sapping me of the little energy I have. and I have no one to cry to for pity. Greg is in meetings all day, so there is no one to provide me with needed coddling. Damn it. Instead I run around the office and cry in my cube.

Lesson: Reserve medical procedures for Friday afternoons so I can play the pity card over the weekend; Also: be sure that the significant other is available to nurse & pamper.