Right before I went on my first jog in 2 weeks I took a look at the photos that Marc had uploaded of our trips to England, Italy and Napa. I really didn't enjoy seeing myself. I recall thinking that I was photogenic when I was younger - even into my mid-20's. But now, in my mid-30's, I feel like every photo catches me at a bad angle.
As I pumped my arms and pushed through that 3rd mile at my 11 minute/mile pace. I envisioned myself thinner. What would I look like 40 lbs lighter? I haven't weighed that little since middle school. Would the loss of those pounds suddenly make me look like a celebrity? Would it fix mt stray hairs? Improve my make-up & wardrobe choices?
Coming down the final stretch, I realized that I might be looking for something in the photos that isn't there - the me of 10 years ago. I get compliments about my appearance, so I can't be as ugly as I see myself. And it dawned on me, the photos might look like a woman in her 30's rather than in her 20's. Not much I can do about that.
Not much chance that I'll get those extra 40 lbs off in the next year. I'm hoping to be pregnant in another 3 months and Marc doesn't let me diet when pregnant or nursing - something about not starving the baby. Maybe by the time I'm 40 I'll have the body I did when I was 15.