Never Ending Road to Self Improvemnt

Greg got me started on a program of Life Mastery and I've spent much of the last few months spinning my extra cycles on thoughts regarding my vales, my purpose, my talents and how those can be better defined - or even defined at all in some cases - and then how those line up with my job, career and other focuses in life.

The first hurdle I faced - I wasn't sure of what my values were. It took a while to figure that out. There are things I like, activities I enjoy but I couldn't always justify those as values. Just because I like to cook, does that mean I value food more than the next guy. And is food a value? I thought values were concepts - like freedom, honesty or maybe a cool car? I value time off - but is that sloth? After all that thought and a couple attempts to find answers or, at least the right questions, in self-help books - I've come to the conclusion that I need to write a book.

Back to the topic... After 3 weeks I think I sorted it out. I value my connection to family & friends (that is why I moved back to San Francisco from Los Angeles) - but I'm not spending enough time on them. I value health and so am going to stick more to the low-carb meal plan as well as get myself to yoga 3-4 times a week with 1 supplemental visit to the gym. And I value continuing self improvement.

Right now I'm reading The Relationship Cure (by John Gottman) - which sounds like it would end all need for those pesky relationships, but instead is supposed to help me with my communication skills. Some might suggest that I simply speaking slower and enunciating more, but pshaw!

I'm only 1/2 way through and was taking the personality command center tests which make me realize two things. First, I love personality tests. They are fun! The majority of them don't really help me get anywhere, but still they amuse me when joining Greg on the couch for an occasional hour or two of professional sports.

Next, how I perceive myself can be in stark contrast to how Greg sees me. When I think of myself being nurturing, I remember leaving a sick ex-significant other in bed with a cold. I was so filled with contempt for him at the time, I had to leave the house. I was utterly unable to tend to him or even warm up some chicken soup for him. He and his stuffy nose repulsed me and it angered me to have any obligation to him. On the other hand, I talk to and tend and trim my orchids incessantly. Greg sees that as nurturing. Maybe it is that I do my best to keep good things around the house for him to nibble on. I also love to cook and do little nice things for friends... does it count as being a nurturing person if one only shows that side around those who they care for?

I guess I need to keep working at this. But I'm also reading the bible (the New Living Translation - that King James version is exhausting), as I think everyone should. And yesterday I found a passage in the first book of Peter that was encouraging in my struggle to be a better person:

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. ¹¹ Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies.

Some of you who have known me for years are probably amazed that I would quote the bible... And I'm surprised myself at what I'm finding in there. We all have gifts, we all should take time to realize what they are and then go out to use those gifts with all your heart and for the benefit of all. That's universal.

Now, if only I could figure out what my gifts are!