Keep your anemones closer

Got to visit my mother Wednesday night. What a treat. It was as if I had never gotten married or moved to Southern California. We took a hike up to see this massive boulder from a landslide. We chatted about the local water problems, my love life and she had a mound of clippings for me as usual. The sun has been out and we took advantage of it with a little sun bathing.

Thursday we got up early (if you call 7 am early) and did a couple things around the house - as usual, I was moving heavy objects and climbing ladders. She always has so much to do around the house to keep it up. John, her man, came by about 9 am and we all went to the beach.

Right now we are in a period of exceptionally low tides. So, we hiked a beach where an arch is only visible during super low tides. Just amazing to look through a large crack in the rocks. Nature does the darndest things. Then south down the beach. Before too long I realized the coffee was going through me too quickly, but we were not going to find a outhouse on that stretch of beach. My mom directs me to her usual sheltered spot where she empties her tank - she walks this beach once a week with a beach watch program, so knows it quite well.

However, this spot was a bit over grown with poison oak. I was left trying to figure out why my mom directed me there. There wasn't much shelter that wasn't going to cause my nether regions to break out in hives and her man kept walking in front of the opening. I wasn't sure what to do, but finally he went away and I could duck behind a large log. All was well - nothing like an open air pee when one skips the undies and truly has to air dry.

Back to the beach and we hike up to the tide pools. And they were filled with anemones. I love poking them! With a childish glee, I hopped around the rocks and tickled all the little creatures. They shrink back and if they are above the water line, the squirt. So much fun. I'm giddy thinking about it.

All that and lunch at a darling little spot called Gazos Creek - I highly recommend it. Just look for the large turkey out front.

The afternoon was terrible - spent in the sun with my friend Ian. I really should learn to apply sunscreen, as I'm now a lobster on the front, and only the front side, of my body. When will I learn?

Now, must get out to enjoy this insanely wonderful weather. It's like I brought SoCal weather with me.

News and other oddities

Saturday night I was at dinner with my Father, Step-mother, brothers, current & future sisters-in-law and got to tell some tales about China. When asked how it was to be there when there was some crash in the Asian Markets, I was blank. There had been a crash?

With little access to the Internet, and no faith in the totalitarian governments, I had ceased to read papers and had no other access to worldly news. For all I know, France could have fallen into the sea.

All this got me thinking about how we get our information. There have always been filters on what is shared with the masses - be it self-censoring editors or governmental ones. Where do we put our trust in accuracy? 33% of Fox News viewers believe we found WMD in Iraq - does it even matter? The right is constantly offended by NPR and their news reporting, but I found it remarkable that, when reporting on ADM they were also running commercials for ADM. As no one wants to see Big Bird get cut, the right is now trying to infiltrate with right-wing commentators - to ruin what they cannot stop funding.

So, how do we decide where to get information? Blogs are often seen as the new source, but how much good are they? Who checks their facts? I could state, here on the Daily Oyster, that the sky is falling and there is no one to dispute it. A recluse might actually believe that the skies over San Francisco are falling - of course its God's punishment for the Gays.

How much of this matters? What amazed me in China is how easily I could function without knowing that there is a new treatment for HPV (http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2006/06/13/a_vaccination_against_complacency/). Well, it does matter - but how much to my daily life. The war in Iraq, the state of the Dow - so easily ignored. I'm almost embarrassed to say I have no idea if it is above or below 10,000. I need so little information to get about my daily life.

An living in such a way has challenged my news junkie side - but I'm sure that will return as soon as I get settled back in the City.

Home again, Home again

I did it. I'm in San Francisco with all my stuff. The move was much less traumatic than expected. Since I wasn't turning on or off utilities, it didn't really seem like a move. Only was it on 405 North did I realize that I had just walked out of my life in Los Angeles and was starting a new one.

San Francisco is being great. The weather is ideal - sun and no fog where I am. Driving around this city is a DREAM. No more idiots, well, not as many idiots on the road. The timed lights make it easy to go the 4 miles from SOMA to the Marina. I got to honk at the j-walking hobos - what could be better?

But I still haven't found the heart I left here...

Miss Wiggle - my new nickname!

My buddy in Bristol (http://bristolgirl.blogspot.com/) just gave me the nickname Miss Wiggle. While she contends it is a stripper name, I prefer to think that it is more about me wiggling all over the map. Oh, maybe that sounds a bit explicit. hmm.

On to more of the travel log...
Friday I slipped off to spend a night with the LOVELY Medlands. We had fun being 100% white: We danced around the house listening to Milkshake, boogying with over-bites and a total lack of rhythm. Any black observer would have shaken their head in disgust at us. But it was fun.

Saturday was a trip off to Palm Springs. I worked - hard mind you! - on my tan. Yes, I know it will look strange for a redhead to have a tan, but whatever. And we went to The Trinity Club for drinks. Ron, our host had a ball with my requests: Come Fly with me, Fly me to the moon and then he almost fell off his chair when I cried out, "Teach me Tonight". I was the youngest person in the club, mind you.

Sunday I took the long way down to San Diego via Cleveland National Forest, Anza, Warner Springs and Cuyamaca. Stopped at the neatest little place: http://www.shadowmountainvineyards.com/ and got myself some wine... which then I comically had to keep cool until I got home at 10 last night.

My cousins were visiting San Diego, David and Nathan. David ran the marathon while Nathan alternated between cheering him on and scouting out the girls. He even tried to pick up some Navy boys for me - knowing that I once had a thing for them, back when I was young and swinging in San Francisco.

Sunday night I had a super yummy dinner made for me by my friend Sal. Bruschetta to start, then a sausage pasta and Chicken with a wine and mushroom sauce. Dessert was limoncello and lemon sorbet with fresh mint. I think I gained 10 pounds.

Monday had time with Nathan and Polly, my grandmother. I just LOVE having such a fantastic family. Nathan is really one of the funniest people I can be around. And Polly has such history. At the same time, she's losing her hearing and so Nathan and I occasionally would get dirty or inappropriate jokes past her by speaking softly and quickly. I think she had to take out her hearing aids due to my incessant giggles. We got in a swim and a game of scrabble. I cannot believe I lost to my grandmother by 1 point!

Monday night included dinner and drinks with friend and mentor, Lee. Down at the Pilsner Room in some identity-free Orange County city.

My life is full of Chaos. I'm moving, I'm divorcing, I'm traveling, I have no home... and yet that all doesn't matter or get me down because I have so many smart, funny and caring people that love me. I am blessed.

But now I've got to cease with the blessing counts and run errands.

China Sidebar

Since it is 5 am and my body is done with sleeping, I'd thought I'd sketch out a few observations from my trip which didn't fit in anywhere else.

First off, crotchless pants on babies. I saw these mostly in Beijing and some in Shanghai. As it was explained to me, instead of having diapers, these kids just pull on their parent's pant leg and then lifted or held in such a way that they can relieve themselves. Not the same as our Western system - which is fine, however it is jarring to see little baby bottoms running around. Good thing our memories from those time fade quickly.

Next up is the random pictures. It started with those three guys in Tianamen Square, with those three guys who each wanted a picture with me. No discussion, one would stand next to me and one of the others would take a photo. This happened again at the Great Wall. I've now been included in 2 dozen photos. Usually the person trying to include me doesn't speak my language. I was in a group photo of Philipinas in Macau. Since there was no common language, there was gesticulating and arm put around me. In my mind's eye I can see the photo with 4 short women and my head rising above like a redwood tree in the middle of a field.

On one hand I'm curious as to the cultural elements that lead to this compulsion of having a white stranger in one's travel log. How do they explain this photo while showing off their album? "Yes and here is our trip to the Great Wall. We got this tall, redheaded American woman to pose, can you believe they grow them like that across the pond?" And on the other hand, I'm concerned that if I am required to obtain governmental clearance, that these pictures will surface. Where it will be discovered that those taking the pictures are actually the secret police of Southeast Asian Nations. I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

Nails on men. This on is eerie. Long, filed nails on Chinese men. It is clear that there is a deliberate decision to have long nails, however, they aren't getting manicures. Reminds me of when guys would grow their hair out and it would be dry and nasty because no one every explained conditioner and product that we women use to make our hair look nice when it is long.

I think I need to go to the gym and work out some of this extra energy.

Home Again

In a recent email, a friend said, "Call me when you get settled." Such a simple statement, it made me laugh. My life won't be settled for several months - I don't think he wants me to wait that long before calling.

Anyway, I'm back in Los Angeles. Going back to Hong Kong was the right thing to do. I spent the weekend running around the Island and Kowloon. Friday I took the time to hike up to the to of the Island. Amazing how I took the elevator down from the 18th floor, went out the door and up the road about a 1/2 mile and was suddenly in this jungle. The trees were covered in vines, the bugs were buzzing - very tropical and exotic. Just loved it.

Back to the travel log... Sunday it rained and inhibited my enjoyment of Hong Kong. I couldn't find an umbrella in Sonya's house which made going out a challenge. Aside from a breakfast/brunch run, I wasn't able to do much until the rain let up in the afternoon. Now that I think about it, I could have gone to a museum, but I changed my mind.

Monday was wonderful and fully made up for Sunday's dreariness. I took a morning ferry over to Macau. On the ferry over I got seated next to a Chinese/American business man. He came to the US in 1958 and had a great time giving me advice on love, life and work.

Macau was beautiful, a mix of East and West. Pink palaces, a space needle, tiny little alleyways, scooters and the remains of a church facade. Just unbelievable. I did a walking tour around the southern peninsula and stopped in the Maritime museum. Lunch was in a Macau/Portuguese restaurant. I had an unusual chicken stew with onions and potatoes with my New Yorker for company.

The afternoon I continued the walking tours around the island. Such potent smells: bakeries with cookies and salt cod and dried meats. Like Hong Kong, there were hills and green spaces. I wandered around the British garden and took a minute in the protestant cemetery. Odd how all the gravestones noted who had erected the memorial. On a couple of stones the name of the shipping company, the kind folk who sponsored the marker, was almost as big as the name of the deceased. How's that for corporate sponsorship?

Monday night I treated myself to dinner at a classy Chinese joint. Had Hot and Sour soup with Lobster - but I prefer my old Chinese food joint out on 34th... it has more kick. Oh, it will be so good to go back there and have my favorites: hot and sour soup and green beans with steamed tofu.

The flight home was uneventful. I had sushi on the stop-over in Japan and slept through much of the flight across the pacific. Home is the same, but now I'm focused on getting the move in order.

Sleep tight all.

Back in Hong Kong

Whew, it is SO good to be back where cab drivers understand me. Well, as much as they do in the states... Jen-speak is an international problem.

Anyway, my mom had given me an article on cell phone tours and I went out and got one yesterday. Now, I'm still having tons of cell phone issues. I'm just leaving my T-Mobile phone on, as I'm switching around my SIM cards. But I'm back on the 2nd Hong Kong SIM (the China SIM won't work here). So getting this tour going was a 2 step process: 1)Find the bookstore with the tour 2)Find additional minutes for Hong Kong cell phone SIM. Nothing is easy here - but fun.

So I got the SIM and the tour and then get lost trying to get to the starting point, Star Ferry. They are doing construction and I got on the wrong side of the construction. But I got there and started the tour. It is FANTASTIC. So much interesting information and I get to choose what to listen to. It's called Walk the Talk. Wish they had this for every city.

But after an hour of listening I start shopping (a hazard here in Hong Kong). Found myself the cutest linen suit and then needed some dinner. Not wanting to partake in the Wan Lai Fong madness, I slipped up a side street and found a quiet bar with only one patron and a great atmosphere. I go up to the bar and order a Manhattan. The bartender didn't know how to make one, so I got to teach him. Fun and a nice way to have a conversation.

I'm back on my own here in Hong Kong - Sonya is out of town, so I don't get in much socializing. But chatting with the Scottish bartender was fun. As it turns out, he was short staffed. So I interviewed for a waitress position of the Manhattan and was told to come back at 9 pm. I ran home, dropped off my new clothes, ate and tossed on a low cut top (I wanted to get tips) and ran back.

My training was simple: when a glass is almost empty, go ask if they want another drink; clear ash trays; clear empty glasses; bring bills; converse with the patrons when things are quiet. I had a blast. Met a bunch of interesting people. Was running around the bar and being offered personal Hong Kong tours by a number of the male locals. Too funny.

Got finished at about 2 am. My pay? $40 and memories. Also a number of resources for getting a sales or office job if I want to stay here in Hong Kong.

Too bad today is rainy - I wanted to finish the tour. May have to wait until tomorrow. Next time I'll have to be sure not to visit Hong Kong in the rainy season.

Trains in the rain

The Beijing West Railroad Station is a bit chaotic - and worse for those who do not speak the language. My ticket information suggested that I'd be able to check a bag. So I packed accordingly - one big bag to check and then 2 little ones with books, food, toothbrush and clean undies. But as I was asking the people about where to check the bag I got directed to immigration. They then immigrated me and before I knew it, I was on the train - an hour early. Gave me time to settle in.

As it turns out, I got the entire 4-bunk cabin to myself. I spread out, did some journal writing, watched the green, green countryside go by, listened to the iPod and read a book. All very civilized. The least civilized thing was the smokers in the hallway and the bathrooms. But that is to be expected on foreign trains.

Another oddity is that they had food runners that ran carts up and down the hallways. I didn't realize this and so went to the dining car. The staff was enjoying their break (I thought 6:15 was average dinner hour - guess I was wrong). I tried to order a chicken dish and a veggie dish, rice and beer. But the waiter I took it upon himself to make sure I didn't wreak my figure, so he only brought the chicken dish and skipped out on the veggies. I was too weak with hunger to argue.

After dinner it was dark, so I read for a bit and then passed out. The bunk was pretty good, as train beds go.

The next day was much the same. No one disturbed me, I watched the lumpy mountains and fields and goats go by, read, danced to Black Eyed Peas on the iPod and wrote in the journal.

Getting to Hong Kong was great. I really love this place.

No rules in China, more like guidelines

Moderately organized mayhem would describe transit in Chinese cities. Crossing the street - just dodge the cars. Bicycles can go just about anywhere, except Tiananmen Square. And they are like a school of fish - constantly darting and swerving; a success of near misses. Add in the rickshaws and there is even more to the migrating system. Today my rickshaw attempted to take me up the wrong side of the street. Since we were dodging both bicycles and cars, we took it to the sidewalk.

One step up again and we have the motorized bicycles, bicycles with flat beds on the back and scooters. All of these can go in either the car lanes or the bike lanes - whichever is moving faster.

Cars are more limited in where they can go, but they make the most of their designated spaces. Darting from one lane to another. Just honk and pull into a lane. If the driver honks back, he won't be letting you in, but going around you. If he doesn't honk, you're golden.

Left turns are my favorite. No need to wait for traffic to stop, just start nudging your nose out into traffic until they are no longer able to go around you. At lights it is common to jump the green to get 2 or 3 left turns across. Remarkably, I've only seen one accident since being in China and that was one car having rear-ended another.

But the fun doesn't stop with transit mobiles. Walking home from dinner the other night Dave and I spotted a team of men working on telephone or power cables. They just went out into the middle of the street, mind you without cones or lights and leaned a ladder up against the wires and started climbing up.

Forget about neat queues - just mob your way to the front. Once there, reach your hand over the person in front of you to get to the window.

Flying Solo in Beijing

Dave's taken off for Hong Kong and so I'm here on my own. Finally. Despite a bit of hesitation, being in China is like being illiterate, deaf and mute - challenging to say the least.

However, I got myself to Dim Sum for a lunch and was able to order the most divine feast. BBQ Pork buns, Shanghai Dumplings, some dumplings that Dave ordered yesterday that have meat and are in hot oil and my token steamed greens. Yum. It set me back $5 USD. The only bad part was that I broke the strap on one of my loafers so I had to go back to Dave's to take care of shoe business.

So I grab a cab and this idiot takes me 1/2 way to Shanghai. Now I know that we aren't going to the right place, but unable to find the words I need in the back of my guide book. So I'm screwed. What amazes me is that I gave him an address card with the address and a map on the back of it. Do none of the Taxi drivers in Beijing know their city?? It is astounding.

But I get the shoes fixed up and I'm out the door, this time to the train station. I've given up hope on trying to get to China's interior. Just not going to happen this time around. Too much luggage and not enough planning ahead. So I've decided to revert to my original plan of trying out the Chinese trains. I very much enjoy the trips on trains I've taken in Europe. Despite my old friend Cristiano saying that I should just fly - I like seeing the country side. As I've got extra time and want to see more than the cities, I think this could work. We'll see...

So the train station is dirty. Not what I wanted to see, but I'll manage. I find my way to the Foreign Ticket Window - which takes 3 different people to tell me how to get there in English. Then I go up to the only open ticket window and the woman helps me in English, but when I want to buy the ticket she tells me to go to window #6. So I go over to window #6 which is getting opened up special for me. And then the new woman doesn't speak English. So odd, she had to get the woman from the original window to come over and help. Ok. I eventually buy my petite ticket and I'm no my way. It takes me 3 tries to find the taxi stand... There is a level below what I thought was the main level and, not speaking the language, everything takes a bit longer.

But I wade through the sea of people who are sitting or lying down around the outside of the bottom level. I don't know why they are there, but all they need is a bullhorn and they'd have a sit-in. I find the taxi stand and the taxi driver takes me to a place near where I wanted to go. He motions - up and to the left. And I meekly pay and get out of the cab. I had passed a Starbucks a block back and decide that I need a frapp to counter the sweat dripping down my chest.

Re-enforced with my frozen coffee, I head to where the taxi driver said and, after stumbling around, find the Book Shop. In the basement is the English section and I grab 3 books and a phrase book. Yippee!!

Unfortunately at this point it is 3:45 and the Forbidden City and Major Museums have ceased to allow entry, so I'm stuck wandering around Tiananmen Square. Something is going on, as I'm forced to go back and forth under the major street, as they've closed off areas to pedestrians. Whatever, I get into the square and snap the CUTEST photo of Rocco and the big red flags in front of The Monument to the People's Heros. While I'm pausing three Asian men come up and start taking pictures of me with them. Again, there is a language problem, so I just nod, smile and let them take their photos. They didn't even get my name. So odd. Those photos are going to show up somewhere to haunt me, I can just feel it.

But I walk down Xichang'an Jie (big main drag) and then duck through some alley ways to distance myself from the noise. After a bit the feet start to ache and I grab a taxi. Now, I'm showing the driver the X on the map of where to go and I search for my address card. Once I find the card I give it to him, he returns it and I get the idea to take a photo with Rocco and the card in the cab. The driver finds this highly amusing and I suddenly remember I've got my phrase book.

Between the monkey, the book and the driver I can now say, "Turn Right here", "Turn Left here" and "yes". So much fun! I even looked up how to say, "Bad traffic!" as we were stuck a lot. And true to Beijing Taxi form, he didn't quite know how to get to Dave's place, so I got to put my new vocabulary to work. Much to the taxi driver's amusement.

Now, I'm working on learning more essential phrases. Kindly, Marisa and Dave have given me the translation for, "My monkey's name is Rocco". Something I know I'll be saying for the next 10 days and possibly forever after. And I'll have fun at dinner tonight trying to order on my own. Or I'll just wimp out and go to an Ex-Pat place where I can order in English.

One night in Shanghai

My last night in Shanghai was fantastic. It was Sarah's going away party. Have I mentioned Sarah? Shane and Kate put me in touch with her and she TOTALLY took care of me.

So we all meet up at 8:30 pm for the first party of the evening. I had come from a mani-pedi. Now manicures and pedicures here are a bit different than in the US and I was a bit disappointed. No moisture or massaging involved. Only cuticle trimming and polish. I felt a bit scammed, but she did a very good job and I had had that foot massage 2 days prior, so I really shouldn't complain.

Anyway, we're at this Japanese restaurant where we get unlimited sake, beer and food. I got placed next to some really cool people from Hong Kong, Australia and NYC. Such is the X-pat culture. Anyway, we gorge ourselves on sushi, sashimi, some yummy green salad, cook-it-yourself scallops, beef and mushrooms. We close down the joint... They were very excited to see us leave at 11:30 or so. And I have to mention, this orgy of food and drink cost of $20 USD a person.

We headed off to go rollerskating. I thought that Sarah had been kidding, but no. I was in the cab with my seat-mates and, since we girls were sock-free, got some of the terrible anklets that the older, fashion-sense-free, Chinese women wear. June and I double bagged our feet, just to keep the cooties from the skates off our feet.

But we only had to pay the entrance fee and then we were in the all you can skate and drink bonanza. Just like I remember from when I was 10... Skating endlessly in a circle. Thankfully the DJ didn't say, "Ok now, couples skate" and I think YMCA had played by the time we got there. But it all came back - how to go backwards and turn and do little circles. Much fun.

About 2 AM we had had enough and so went dancing. The DJ wasn't the best, but I'm spoiled. I've got a couple mixes on my iPod (thank you Greg!) that make me happy - happy house music. But it was fun just the same. I got hit on by some attractive Nigerian guy. I just wanted to sit down and I think he though I was interested in making some money... so I had to walk away and dance some more. Odd.

But I got back to the hotel by about 4 am. I would have set my alarm clock for 6 AM (I had a car coming to pick me up at 7:30 AM and I still need to pack), but there was no alarm clock in my room. I've had to keep my iPod by my bed so that I know what time it is when I wake up. But very fearful about not getting woken up in time to get ready, I set both cell phones (I've finally got a charger for the original T-mobile phone and then my dopod is running smoothly) and called down for a wake-up call.

2 hours later I'm up... and still feeling the alcohol in my system. Drunken packing. I had to be very methodical and check everything twice. Also, I needed to grab a box of lube out of the bathroom. Now, that may sound odd, but this swank hotel caters to foreign tourists. And the room has a mini-bar and at "health-bar" - or that is what it said on the room bill... and in this "health-bar" are: condoms, female genital wipes, male "love everlasting" stuff (didn't open, so I'm unsure if it is a pill or cream), lube (with instructions saying, "rub in cunt time after time with the forepart of thruster for about 1-2 minutes) and the irresistible vibrating cock-ring/condom combination.

But the car picks me up. I'm in a Mercedes and my Chinese driver doesn't speak a word of English. I should note that in China, they like these white seat covers. I'd think they are washable, but in some cabs, it doesn't appear like that happens too often. So I'm in the Mercedes on a white seat cover, mildly intoxicated and exhausted. I'm trying to sleep, but the driver has an affinity for sappy 80's love songs. I was kept awake by Stevie Wonder telling me that he "just called to say I love you". All a bit surreal.

The flight to Beijing was uneventful. Got to Dave and Marisa's swank pad. So good to see one of my oldest friends. Since Marisa is in Hong Kong with business, he and I zipped around the neighborhood on his DARLING scooter. The thing has a silver, metal eagle head on the front with green gem eyes that light-up when the bike is running.

We enjoyed Belgum beer, DVD shopping and then the most amazing Chinese food I've ever had. Thankfully he likes Chinese food, so I'm going to be eating local cuisine for a few days. It really is getting silly. 10 days in China and I've had 3 Chinese meals. But oh - last night! We had Peking Duck, which was my least favorite and I loved it. Then dried, fried green beans (think there was some pork in there), MaBoTofu, or however that is spelled, Cucumber (super yummy with some light sauce) and some picked veggies. And beer - but American here. We had had the Belgium beer at a cute little bar that served fries and pizzas too.

I got him to watch Harold and Kumar go to White Castle because I was in the mood for silly movies after talking about them with Sonya. And crashed early last night... Nothing like travel and no sleep to take the wind out of a girl.

So, today is Sunday and I'm up (too early) and trying to read my guide books so I'll know what to see here. Am thinking of getting out of China Wednesday or Thursday. It is a bit difficult to deal with things here. I'm hearing good thinks about Vietnam, Laos and Thailand. Also, I'm hearing how easy it is to get down there for a weekend... which would be fun. Now I've got to find out how to make that happen.

My Junk sunburn is now peeling, so instead of being tender, I'm itching like I have lice. So I'll have to remember the sunscreen if I end up no a beach in Bali.

Unable to view my own Blog.

For some reason, I am unable to see my blog. I am unable to see if there are any comments. I'm unsure if it is this computer or if the government is involved. Probably the former.

Shanghai is better with Sun

China can be quite confusing. I'm having problems with the cab drivers here. Several times they try to drop me off at locations that are not where I tell them. It doesn't help to have the address in Chinese, or both have the address in Chinese and point to a map. They just pull over in the neighborhood and say, well, I don't actually know what they say, as they don't speak a word of English and I can barely pronouce Thanks You in Chinese... but it is clear through gestures that they think I am where they want to leave me.

Challenging world here.

Yesterday a typhoon came through. Made it very unpleasant. I tried to walk around the city - even with the rain, but I couldn't tell North from South or East from West and ended up walking a mile or two down Nanjing Road the wrong direction. Blew a whole morning. And it is hard to appreciate the sights when the umbrella truncates one's view. Finally broke down and got lunch near the hotel. Udon with lamb. Yummy.

The afternoon was another attempt at adventure. My tennies were soaked through. My jeans soaked. But I eventually made it to the Urban Planning Museum. Very fascinating. I had NO idea how big this city is or will be. Simply assounded at the vast scale of high rises they intend to build in this area. Just up and up and up. Most buildings with 10 or more stories. Wow. San Francisco seems so provencial. Took a taxi back to the hotel - he did, with some loud English and pointing, get me to the hotel, but damned if he were to drive up to the lobby. Had to leave me on the curb.

Today I awoke to sunshine. I could tell East and West and see things. I walked from my hotel on Shanxi Lu down to the Bund. This city is so vertical. And it has old, rickety alleys, and so much green, quiet park space. I'm really impressed. There is charm to Shanghai. Last night I was becoming convinced that the only charm was at the bottom of a bottle of crappy wine.

I think I need another massage...

Getting to Shanghai

I'm not getting the access to email and internet I thought I would with my new, dopod (here's the website: http://www.dopod.com , but I'm in China, so it is all in Chinese, as I can't read anything. But I did see that the address is in Shanghai, maybe I should visit to see if I can get a tutorial, as I'm having a hell of a time getting all the features to work - but I've just got to RTFM). Anyway, I'm here at the Grand Pacific and they, thankfully, have a business center, but no wi-fi. I have gotten the wi-fi features up on the phone and that is really cool. I digress.

Hong Kong time has saddly come to an end. Monday I was on my own and a bit more challenged than expected by the Lost in Translation problems. I did eat at Hutong which it atop a tall building. I think didn't quite manage my rice bowl/serving bowl/eating bowl thing right, but the service only laughed at me in the back. The food, my first Chinese meal, was tasty. We tried several safe items: Green bean with tofu, Chicken with mushrooms and pork fennel dumplings. I got to savor the flavors I had never tried before while watching the boats go by in the harbor and helicopters landing on the sky scaper next door. Quite and experience.

Yesterday, as I was leaving Hong Kong, I decided that I should do some super-touristy thing. I headed up the Hong Kong Island hill. And between the cab ride to the tram and the tram up, nearly got sick at the top. I really should just take dramamine daily, as I've had a terrible time with motion induced nausia here. I also got accosted by the oddest turban topped Indian man who tells me there are two men in love with me and one is a big problem. Hmm, really? I think he says that to all the girls. I declined the rest of his $300 HKD ($60 USD) palm reading.

Hong Kong has a fantastic airport system. They've got this train that goes from the center to the airport, which in itself isn't all that, but you can check-in at the station and leave your bags with them.

So, I get to the in-city check-in on time, only to learn that my 2 pm flight to Shanghai had been cancelled. They offer to put me on the 1:35 and I accept, but then am unable to meet with Sonya (she had a 2:15 flight and we were going to train it over together) and I'm bummed, as I don't get to hug her goodbye.

I hurry to the airport, get some starbucks lunch - not sure if or what they will be serving on the plane. I also find that they have internet/business centers placed through the airport. These offer compters as well as charges for your cell phone - which I am in serious need, as both of my cell phones are out of juice. One completely and one has an ounce of power left. Just my luck, they don't have matching chargers for either.

I get to the gate and queue up. The nice lady at the gate had given me an aisle seat with the window seat being reversed and for use by the flight attendant. I'm not sure if she wanted to spare me the close contact with the natives or vice-versa. I wouldn't have thought much of it, but the only other white person on the plane was seated on the other side of my aisle in the same situation. Hmm.

The flight, which I had rushed to, is then 45 minutes late. The delay didn't bother me, but the final approach did. In the US the final approach means we get everyone in their seats about 5-10 minutes before the wheels leave their tar on the tarmack. Here, it was a solid 30 minute approach. I was wondering if we were every going to touch down.

Once in Shanghai, I had do face mainland immigration. And I got to face it for a full hour. Fun. I finished "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night" while waiting. It took so long that by the time I got to the baggage claim, my flight was no longer listed on any of the carrosels. So I then had to wander around trying to find my bag.

Next was the taxi endeavor... since my buddy Dave hadn't gotten me a hotel until the last minute and the dopod is set to English, I did not have the Chinese Characters of the hotel written down anywhere. I did have that last bit of juice and the nice Chinese woman who set up the hotel for me/Dave and called her. I did managed to get through and she got on with the cab driver and they had a 10 minute discussion where I was sure that I was going to be sold into white woman slavery.

When we get to the neighborhood, he can't find the hotel and is trying to get me out of his cab when I look up and see the sign. Thankfully he gets us across the street and I get the most amazing $80/night hotel room I've ever seen.

I'm safe. I've got to go and see the town now. Whew! And please forgive all the spelling and grammer errors in this posting, this Chinese version of Blogger.com does not have a check spelling option. Also the words are all characters, which makes it a bit surreal.

Junks rock.

I've got an odd bruise on my elbow. I'm sunburnt. I'm damaged my liver. My sinuses have been completely cleased with sea water and water still seems to be dripping out.

The veiws were beautiful. The water was fine for swimming. The whole thing was a fantastic dream - but my body is not very happy today.

Round 2

Well, I'm still in love with Hong Kong - even when I'm sober.

Thursday was definitely the kick-off. Friday was difficult, tackling a new city where the signs is in odd shaped characters and taxicab drivers get me car sick, even when not hung over was a challenge. However, I managed to make it down to Central in time to meet up with Sonya for lunch.

She works in the 3rd tallest building in the world. Thankfully there are no earthquakes here and little threat from terrorism. Her office is on the 21st floor and sports a basketball court. But we don't hang out there for long, we head down to a cafe with a French name and order Thai soup. Odd yes, but it tasted good and despite the spice, it eased my tender tummy.

She walked me through a labyrinth of shops. I was on a mission to get to Marks and Spenser's to find a bathing suit in Western Women sizes. For a Caucasian woman, shopping in Hong Kong is like being in the girls section of the department store - but with cool threads there. Hence, having forgotten to pack my suit, I needed to go to a store for the big.

On the way, we pass through the land of Armani. Did you know that Armani offers flowers? I had no idea. Make-up and kitchenware too. Learn something new everyday.

But make it to Marks & Sparks, found a suit that wasn't terrible, not good either, but for $40 USD, who's complaining?

Next, calls with Ken - a friend of my buddy Dave who is going to help me get my plane tickets for the rest of my trip. He tells me to get a cab and either tell the guy to go to the Landmark, and if he doesn't understand me, to call Ken (who speaks Mandarin and Cantonese) to help. So I leave Marks & Sparks, find the cab stand and then when it is my turn, I hope in. I say Landmark and the driver points to the doorway just past the cab stand. Nice guy - he didn't charge me for the directions or take me on a spin around the block. What could be easier?

I hop out of the non-needed cab and go into The Landmark. I realize I had walked through it with Sonya 30 minutes before. Who knew? Hong Kong has a good city planner - there are elevated and air conditioned walk ways that connect the important money making and money spending locations.

Which I how I see Hong Kong so far - a great place to make and spend massive amounts of money. My buddy Greg would love this place. I hope those communists don't make too many modifications to Hong Kong. Nothing like Capitalism and Consumerism to make a city's wheels turn.

So I locate Ken and we take care of our errands. One of which takes us on the subway (very fun) - but seeing the equivalent of Jersey (Kowloon) and getting a cell phone/PDA not available in the states was also a lot of fun. The shop had these great Zoolander phones - the size of 2 of my fingers put together and they come in 7 colors too.

Another first was Boba drink. They don't call it that here. But back in LA I would see Boba every where. And I had recently discussed rice with Greg who was telling me how they have "glutinous rice" here. Never heard that term before, and then it was on the multi-lingual signage. So odd. But mango, ice and boba and some other stuff. Yum.

Met up with Sonya and we rushed home and back out again. We had 7:30 reservations at Aqua (http://www.aqua.com.hk/) - amazing food at the top of a sky scraper. Stunning.

But we didn't last long. The jet lag was finally catching up with me. We stopped briefly in some district I can't recall and had a drink with 10,000 of our best friends. Just amazing, almost The Castro on Halloween crowded. The street was lined with 10 story buildings all touching and the bottom 2-3 stories of each had restaurants, bars and nightclubs. Drinking is allowed on the street and most in the sea of people were taking advantage of that. Mostly Ex-Pats in shorts, suits all sorts of outfits.

Another thing I noticed: each bar had a theme. We had Beirut with Hookas, Italian joints, British Pubs and more. However, I didn't see many Chinese Themed locales, nor Opium dens which I had half expected. Which made me realize I had been in China for a day and change and had yet to have any Chinese food. I write this another day later and I'm still waiting. I've had Tapas, Thai, Italian, Japanese, Cheese plates (tonight's dinner) and Califonia-esqe food, but no dim sum or Chinese. Maybe Tomorrow?

Or maybe not - we're going on a Junk boat (why I needed a bathing suit). I'll be careful to wear sunscreen, to not get burned. Need to stop eating, as I'm not sure I'll fit into that suit if I keep up at my present pace.

Today was spent visiting another Ex-Pat and wandering around Stanley Bay and Shek O. Put my feet in the water, sweated out a gallon of water (it is HOT here) and enjoyed some pinot gris with a view of the bay.

If we ever leave, (it is after 10 pm), we're going to do the obligatory tour of WanChai and possibly hit a party. I'm looking forward to it. If there is no blog by Monday AM - please contact the embassy, I may have been sold into the brothels in that 'hood. Wish me luck.

Hong Kong

I'm a bit tipsy... so this post might not make much sense.

I'm in Hong Kong. I'm in love with this city. Amazing. Beautiful. Hills. Skyscrapers. Fog. Narrow streets with cool bars. I'm in heaven. Like San Francisco mixed with Manhattan - what could be better?

My favorite person in San Diego wrote this poem that totally describes air travel.

Seated at the bar with the
Close-cropped Business types
With their sky-blue shirts
And bulging beltlines, their
Sports pages and cell phones
the TV news mutters in the
Background, the overhead
Voice chimes in polite reminders
About heightened security
Smoking is prohibited in the
Terminal area, do not transport
Any item for someone you
Don't know...hmmm...how well
Do any of these fish-eyed
Whiteys really know the
John or Bill or Jim on
The next barstool and would
They suspect there's a Poem
Being crafted in the shadow
Of this spicy Bloody Mary?
Probably not.
Bless the little-typer
And cheers to you.

I was TERRIFED to get on the plane to China. Scared out of my mind. Ended up calling a friend to talk me onto the plane he gave me soothing words. I tried to pacify myself with Duty Free - should have bought more wine. Only because it is difficult to get CA wine here in Hong Kong.

I should go to bed. It is 1:45 AM here and 10:45 in San Francisco.

The room is spinning. There are three glasses of wine and I have no idea which belongs to me.

From 7,500 feet

I have been working on how to describe my love of the desert for the last few days. Currently I'm staying with Bill and Regina in the mountains above Santa Fe. The air is different here. Everything is dry and distilled. The views are astounding. I can see for eternity it seems.

One of the many blessings I got from my time with Michael is a love for road trips and a love for the desert. Seeing the stratifications of the rock in the mountains is like seeing history. Here we have the history and the seams of the earth. The volcanoes, the limestone, the shale and in each is reflected a time totally unfathomable. 1.2 million years ago the volcano near Los Alamos erupted. 1.2 million years. Then the ash was compacted and turned to stone. Then came the sea and the shells and then the ground was pushed up and then eroded.

The views remind me of the beauty and timelessness of the earth. I'm here for such a blip. The mountains don't even notice me. I drink in the views and the sunsets.

Mountains flatter the horizon

After leaving Roswell, and briefly getting lost (I can understand why the aliens crashed here... So easy to get turned around), I headed West on 70. It took a while, but then the mountains appeared on the horizon. Just there, waiting for me to come and visit them.

I kept turning slightly south and frustrating me, as I wanted to drive straight to them and climb up to see the view. But it worked out OK, as I got the hills at Sunset and everything suddenly felt right. The hills were sharp and golden - with small green shrubs dotting them in a way that just inspires painters. Part of an ancient reef, the limestone occasionally peeked through - like the stuffing from a worn doll. But up and down, in and out - they just danced. The road traced a creek that fed green, green grass at the bottom flat.

Down there were small farms and ranches. Cows, sheep, peacocks and horses all enjoyed the fields. Rimming the grass areas were tall tress, again green green green. The houses were straight from Kinkade - almost too saccharine. Aged wooden fences with rusting equipment.

Just beautiful from Sunset to Lincoln. I ended up in a little town on the desert side. Near the Valley of Fire - at the top of the same valley where I hiked in the sand. I've got to get going. On up to Albuquerque. Finally I'm back where the mountains hem me in. Drama in landscape is good.

Roswell, New Mexico

Just a travel log posting.
Made it to Austin. Cute town. Good music. Lots of skin art. Except for the lack of views and it being in a Red State, it is quite nice.

Had fun at my friend's bachelor party. I think the highlight was when I got a lap dance. The entire crew seemed exceptionally excited about it. But got to see my friend intoxicated, for the first time really.

Been thinking about drinking. There has been too many bad things of late that have happened due to excessive drinking. Am I really to the age where I'm done with excessive drinking? Done with feeling like I made a fool of myself? Worrying about what I might have said the next day. I guess I'm officially moving into adulthood, either that or I'm losing my wildside and moving towards white knuckle flying.

After Austin I made a quick run to Dallas. Got some good time with my cousins, Dave and Nate. Got to meet Nate's girlfriend too. Very fun. Nice weather. In an effort to convince me that Texas isn't the belly of the beast, Dave took me out in really CUTE areas of town. I can say that I was impressed with Dallas.

My cousins also impressed me. Dave is involved with the local Chamber of Commerce. Both he and Nate are terribly well traveled. Educated, interesting, funny and positive - wish I could seem them more often.

But there was one bad spot in Dallas. I got attacked by a bird. Just walking down the street after having a morning coffee on Tuesday. Suddenly I had this creature swooping at me. It even grabbed my hair on the 2nd attack. I'm not sure what was more embarrassing, that I was being attacked or that I was visibly angry at a bird not much larger at my fist. I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman - swinging my book as this bird came diving at me - claws out and wings extended, in attack mode. It was terrible! I am scarred.

After Dallas I took a mystery trip and landed back in Austin on Thursday night. So good to have some quiet time with my friend before the wedding. Talking about what it means and what we've both been through. Amazing to think that we'd been friends for 14 years - even if we were in the same state for less than 1/2 of that time.

Friday started the wedding craziness. Mani-pedi's, rehearsal dinners, wedding preparation. My friend's got a large clan of siblings, in-laws, cousins and family friends and I had a great time re-meeting them after 5 years. Again, educated, interesting people... So much fun to get to know. Guests from 3 continents. The reception was a huge party. Cup cakes that were a million times yummier than wedding cake.

Sunday I barely had time to recover before making my run to the boarder. Made it to Big Spring, TX. Yes, they do seem to have a Big Spring. Not that I took a tour...

Spent this AM at the Carlsbad Caverns and Oh My God it is so big!!
Had a pleasant stroll through the International UFO Museum here in Roswell, New Mexico where I am now. Waiting to catch a flight on the next UFO that passes.

Cheers!

Horse with no name

I made it to Austin, safe and sound. My first day was great. Dropped a friend off at the airport, finished packing and then had breakfast with Andre. Giddy - pure giddy. The stars seemed to have come into alignment.

Until I couldn't get in touch with Nick. I was supposed to crash with him, but he was having some adventure with a chick in NYC and they were having problems getting back to Phoenix. So I skipped it all and landed at a roadside motel on the southside of Tucson. The best thing I did was figure out how to get my iPod to be an alarm clock.

Big thanks to Greg and Sal for pumping up the iPod. I am still discovering songs... and I've been driving for three days.

My stay in Tucson was short... but I did have a brief incident. I tried to find a Starbucks East on the 10 from Tucson. I stopped in a Safeway to get some water bottles (rather pay $7 for 12 than $2 per bottle) and asked the clerk. I got a look like I was from the moon. Am I really that much of a city girl??

Anyway, from Tucson I shot over to New Mexico. Stopped for a 4.5 mile hike in the sand at the White Sands National Park. I asked at the visitor center if it was OK for me to go alone and was assured it was not problem. What an experience. When I signed out I saw that the last person had come back from the hike 2 hours prior. I was on my own. No one but me, some lizards and an ant or two million. Up and down 20 foot doons - much sand in my shoes. I know how that bothers some people, but I loved it. I strapped Rocco to the back of my small backpack. Rocco is my new Monkey. When I lost Alphonse with the split, Kate and Shane gave me Rocco. He's small and very soft. I think he liked being tied to the back of my pack, but it is hard to tell with inanimate objects.

My big discovery: there are few things like deslation and solitude to help the mind clarify itself. That and tears dry funny when exposed to such arid heat. Heat purifies and releases.

Got to El Paso last night. Had some good rest. I needed it, as I was stuck in the car for a million hours getting to Austin. Did stop at a winery in the hill country outside of Austin. The Cabernet was sharp and Republican - I bought a bottle just the same.

Adam and Rose are doing well. In a bit of a flurry with their wedding. I'm excited to participate next weekend. Tonight was a tour of 6th Street in Downtown. Bars and music and too many college kids. Night and day from the interchangable aspiring starlets of Los Angeles.

Tomorrow - er, today at this rate - is another day. Good night.

Getting Crazy

Tomorrow morning I head out for the first leg of the trip. I've been trying to prepare, but got distracted by a visitor or two along with a quick trip out to Palm Springs. I know, silly of me to recharge my batteries in the same desert I'm about to hang out in for the next 3 days - so be it.

Today, however, has been a challenge. I dropped my friend off at the airport first thing and took care of filling a prescription and picking up my suitcase (it had zipper problems) and then got up online for the first time in days. Now, I had kindly been loaned a laptop for this trip, but last night when I attempted to install a wireless NIC so that I could take advantage of T-Mobile's wireless hotspots along the route, I got the blue screen of death. So, the laptop is down, the desktop is down and I'm wondering if I have some electro-magnetic field around me short circuiting things.

Friday I found that my digital camera's flash was no longer working. That will cost me $160 to fix, no thanks - I'll take a new camera. So, I'm back to old school film for this trip (sorry, no photos for the blog) and my grand ideas of a travel log are as gone as a bag of chips on superbowl Sunday.

Maybe in China next month I can find myself a cheap laptop, PDA and camera. Till then, it will be film, a calendar and my journal.

Wish me luck.

What is in a name?

I knew a guy in middle and high school who changed names several times. From Dee Dee to Max and then on after that. I never understood it very well. But it sounded like the usual for him and his family.

Growing up a Jennifer, I have struggled not to blend in. In my 6th grade class of 35 kids, we had 6 Jennifers - two Jenny G's to be extra confusing. Yet I didn't have many alternatives. I could be Jen, Jenny or Jennifer. My mother gave me a family middle name that she felt I could use if I wanted to be taken in a more serious light - Mercy. Needless to say, I have never gone by Mercy.

Briefly in college I took on the nickname Penelope. I was the head of a dormitory (at Smith College we called them houses) and since we had 5 Jennifers, I decided to take on a different name. The entire house knew me as Penelope and some didn't realize I had a different name. If felt a bit like a persona and I enjoyed not sharing a name with 1/2 the other women out there.

Getting married, we flipped a coin to determine our last name. I felt strongly that I wanted us to be a unit - a family that shared a name. But we couldn't find a compelling reason for either one of us to take the other's name. We flipped and I became Mattis. It took about a year before I could say "Jennifer Mattis" without giggling or feeling like I was fibbing.

Now, going back to the clan name is a bit of a relief. At the same time, I have adjusted to Mattis. I called an old friend with whom I had lost touch during my married years and said, "Hi! It's Jennifer Mattis, oops, DeLano - or whoever I am..." I don't think it will take as long to revert... less time than the divorce paperwork. I'm happy to be returning to the DeLano family - we're an odd bunch.

Moving and Shaking

It is my last day here and I'm counting the minutes. Who doesn't when all is done. I've got the 1:30 pm exit interview and I think that might be it. Was waiting to see if the department guys might want to do lunch, but I'm not hearing any noise on that front.

Between here and the initial departure date I've got a totally packed schedule. Got the teeth cleaned this morning, will get the health check-ups Monday and Tuesday. Will need to get the Visa in line for China as well as paperwork to become a free woman again. Seems daunting... But I do have some treats, like getting my hair done (and nails - I'm dying for a mani-pedi) and a trip to Miss Kitty's in the coming days. I hope to get in a bike ride to Santa Monica or possibly a quick trip out to Palm Springs. We'll see.

Closing this chapter is hard. My dentist's office overlooks my former apartment. Needless to say I was a bit sad at seeing my old stomping grounds. Growing up in the shadow of San Francisco I was raised to believe that Los Angeles was evil, especially the Dodgers. But having had time here, it wasn't easy or perfect, but I can see good in this city. I guess even Satan has a good side?

More later, got to work on changing my primary domain to reflect the return to my clan name.

Women's Work

Since completing my project at work and being 18 work hours away from leaving my job, I've got a little extra time on my hands. I took a gander at Arts and Letters daily and found an interesting article on the cost to society of having women in the work force.
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1143931814950&call_pageid=1105528093962&col=1105528093790

What I found striking in this article was its focus on what society lost by, in some sense, allowing women to go into the work force. A breakdown in the existing order... That society depends on women being the glue, running the charities, doling out the compassion in addition to having the next generation of children. The big whole I find in this argument is that it seems to assume that women should be the glue. Why is that? Why are men exempt? Why must we provide the free labor at the expense of the pursuit of our interests?

Women entering the work force has fundamentally changed society, no doubt about it. However, I think that the problems created by that change should be addressed so that women still have the options available to them. State sponsored childcare would promote working women to have children. Value, not just lip-service, on education would also be beneficial. A larger tax credit for children would be good too.

Telling women that society's ills are our fault and to get back in the kitchen is old.

American Life circa 1950

I have been fortunate enough to come into contact with Charles Phoenix on a couple of occasions out here on Los Angeles. He's got a remarkable collection of photos from America in the 1950's combined with a wicked wit.
Check him out: http://www.charlesphoenix.com/
And do go to one of his shows, they are very amusing.

What is making me laugh this week

While driving on the 10 heading east I pass a white delivery truck. Now, I'm sure long time Los Angelinos have seen these and I'm showing my newbie status. Anyway, The Culver City Meat Company is very proud of their product. They boldly declare that, "You Can't Beat Our Meat" on the side of their trucks. Well, next time I'm looking to beat meat, I'll be thinking of them.

Updates and Posting

Sorry for the vanishing act. We went live on the new software product. No problems. Smooth as silk. Like butter. Shooting fish in a barrel... You get the picture.

I was stationed at El Monte this week. Which was a bit farther of a drive. They have a great staff there, really nice women. One of the lower volume clinics, however the staff adjusts and the days are long. I very much admire the staff's interest in learning the new computer system, even when they are very, very week on computers. I taught them all CTRL+C to cut and CTRL+V to paste. They were thrilled. My most trying moment came yesterday, I instructed the nice woman to press enter. She presses the Tab key. I say, "Press Enter". She presses the tab key again. I had to physically indicate to which key I was referring. hmm.

Back at Central today. I've got 3.5 days of work left, but who is counting? Andre is coming out for lunch with me and my poetry writing buddy sent me this:

Lock up the desk it's
Closing time
Hand in your passkey
Change all the passwords
Throw out the papers
The memos the crosswords
Half-solved while
Waiting on the phone
Shut down the systems
Pull all the plugs
Flip over the "in" stack
And tonight when you get home
It's time for tonic
With a twist of lime
It's closing time
No reason to ever look back.

If only everything were that easy! But I got 2 guide books for China that I will try to review today: Fodor's China and Loney Planet. Also got two William Gibson novels. See, Amazon.com has that gold box thing and it knows I'm a sucker for cheap versions of books by authors I enjoy. I think they will be good evening companions for my road trip.

Happy Birthday To Me!

31 today. Yippee. Sucky that I'm in the office with a GO LIVE and will be tomorrow too - which means I'm not celebrating tonight. Bummer. I see this as a slow start to the best year ever.

Have a good, rainy Friday on me.

Modern Warfare or Ain't Misbehaving

I think the game was simpler for my grandparents. The rules clearer... girls don't call. No kissing on the first date. Sex was saved for after an exchange of rings.

Now a days we're making up the rules as we go along. The end result is several shelves at Boarders Books and the eternal feeling that one is not playing the game right. Even my roommate and I disagree on which actions are OK, which make a girl seem easy and which get us closer to our goals... whatever that goal is. Some days it's the conquest - unlike my grandmother, not a gold ring, but rather the guy wrapped around the finger. Other times it could be the Long Term Relationship. Others, just a good time; entertainment. So many options of connections unheard of before. Also unheard of in the more religious and conservative parts of the world. Lucky us.

Finding the balance between Ain't-Misbehaving-saving-all-my-love-for-you with the A-Lot-Of-Livin'-to-do can make a person crazy. It is human nature to be unable to see the existential value of a person when confused by the relative value. If things just work with the right person, do games really need to be played? How long does one have to wait before calling, again?

My roommate errs on the hard to get side... I'm of the existential value kind. I have a fear that if one plays hard to get that when one finally gets the person, that they will lose interest and go after the next unavailable. The thrill is in the chase with no joy or satisfaction in the having. Whereas the flip side is that one values more the thing that s/he had to work harder for. This does not seem like a win-win game... But I think we can learn from each other.

We'll see. Neither of us are in a place to really test our theories. I'm leaving in 20 days for the first of 4 trips. And I should mention, this will soon become a travel blog, keeping friends and family up on where I am and my latest folly.

Poem from a Friend

My cool friend sent me a poem. I like it. I hope he's OK with me posting it.
It made me happy.


here it is another wednesday
night the wine is sweet
my skin feels tight
and fingers tapping on
the keys create a rhythm
all life's a rhythm
feel it in your heartbeat
it's alive

thinking of your pearly
skin makes my quickened pulse
begin I know you're gone and
I'm gone too but
we're immortal in our minds
it's in your mind
feel it think it say it
it's alive

roll those dice, the outcome's twice
as unexpected when you see it
for the first time

almost through, this note to you
on the eve of revelation
feels divine

steppin' off that eastbound
plane I can imagine once
again this downward spiral's
been completed
and another one commences
I'll take my chances
my heart getting stonger
it's alive

Rolling Stones

Last week I gave notice. Yesterday I purchased my ticket. I'm doing it. Travel for over three months - or until the money runs out.

Lucky me - I have friends all over the planet who will put me up for free. Hong Kong, Beijing, NYC, DC, Boston, Cape Cod, Italy and France. Anyone have a place for me to crash in Amsterdam or Berlin? How about a chalet in the Alps? So the trip isn't going to cost that much, as I have free places to stay 50% of the time and for 3 of the remaining weeks I've got cheap places. That leaves 3 weeks of paying dearly...

The next question I seem to get asked is, "Are you doing all the travel alone?". Yes, but I am going to be staying with friends - so I get the benefit of being on my own, but with friends when I want. I am looking forward to being 100% in control of my time. I choose what I am going to see. I am responsible for my schedule and I am to blame if I don't get to do what I want to do. Strange feeling after 4 years of being 1/2 of a couple.

Now, I need to start collecting the guide books. Any recommendations for China?

Science Diet

If you read the New Yorker regularly, you may have seen the article from a week or so ago about how our current Administration is giving science the old Heave-Ho. Instead of looking at and assessing all the facts, they search out the outlying, fringe scientists who support their Right Wing Agenda.

One of the Right Wing's pet peeves is the medically induced abortion. The process involves two medications that cause the uterus to expel its contents. If the contents include a fetus, an abortion happens. This product has been used for decades around the globe, safely and effectively giving women control over the physical, emotion and financial fate.

Two women have died (http://www.forbes.com/technology/feeds/AP/2006/03/17/ap2603859.html) from the use of this medication and the right-wingers are clamoring for it to be pulled from the market. Why aren't they screaming about Viagra which has killed, as of 2003, 564 men have died from that medication ? (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/01/030110193129.htm) What about the men?? Who is fighting to prevent such a horrible, erection filled death from happening to other men?

And another puzzle... how anti-depressive were found to cause more thoughts of suicide in depressed teens. Ok, so this teen age girl is depressed and not feeling that life is worth living and if she goes on the medication, she will feel MORE like killing herself. But she'll be less depressed? Is it just that the medication isn't very effective?? Very confusing.

In the end, I just want science to be left to the scientists. No other Administration had scientists resigning left and right out of protest. We've got to get back on track in the realm of science. Not all scientists agree, but there tends to be a consensus.

Happy St. Patty's Day to all.

Not finishing what one starts

I have a confession to make. I just put away The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I tried to like it. I got to the final 25 pages or so. But the author's tone just got to me. So smug. He's merely an author, yet has the tone of god. As if this guy somehow knows all there is to know.

I couldn't take it. Now, I know that I am an adult. I don't have to finish every book I start... but I still feel guilty. Probably has something to do with my father's eternal criticism of me - that I don't finish what I start. And to that I have to ask, why should I finish this book? Will I get some gold star in heaven? It sucked! He killed off the characters who seemed total prisoners to their pathetic natures - I just didn't care any more.

I think I need something happy to read. I've been exploring mind expanding and instructive literature for too long. My bed side table has the following books: The Elegant Universe, Revolution from Within, To the Heart of the Nile and a book that I haven't started, but it is about the image of women throughout mythology. So heavy! I need something light and fun. I think I might have to pull out the David Cedric - or you readers, any suggestions?? I want to escape.

Nightmares

Last night, as I was going to sleep I got the notion that there was something supernatural in my room. I fell asleep with strange, nightmarish dreams - waking, or possibly waking, with the sensation that a ghost was in my room. It was oppressing me, pushing down on my, I was unable to move. My mind was racing, wondering if I should turn on a light, if that would make it go away. But something told me it wouldn't. I didn't want to turn, for fear of seeing something I didn't want to see.

I told my mother about the experience, she said, Incubus. Looking it up, I found that this was a common thing - has been happening for centuries. Why? What is in our collective unconscious that creates these experiences. What causes those neurons to fire in that order? Does it have a chemical or electric origin? The entire body is involved in the experience - the body can't move, the mind is spinning.

Or are there demons out there that visit us. And why would it be in my bedroom? The oddest thing to me was the sensation of malevolence, that what was in there was angry, hateful and intent on evil.

More things I doubt I will ever have an answer for - and that is OK, as long as this doesn't become a regular thing.

Choices

I'm going up to San Francisco this weekend. I had planned to stay until Sunday. However 1/2 of the people I wanted to see are unavailable... and now my friend down here in LA is having a going away party on Saturday night.

If I stay in San Francisco, I'll be bummed that I missed out on her party down here. If I return early then I'll be cheating myself out of time in the city I love most on the planet. There is no way to win. What do I want? I'm 50-50 on each side. I'll be happy and have regrets either way.

Really, there is no good solution. It matches up with another quandary that is fast approaching in my life. Work/Travel/Moves - there are no simple answers. What is keeping me in LA? What is keeping me in this state?

Some days everything seems up for grabs. I take on too many options at once. A simple trip becomes a quandary. I'm not making the right decisions, but how do we ever know when we are in the moment? Some things we can be sure of - we exhaust all other possibilities. But on whims, like this trip to SF or returning early to LA. I can give compelling reasons on either side... only months from now will I know what I really should have done.

Like smoke signals...

I got the problem with the email resolved... but now the changes have to propagate through out cyber space. Mail has slowly started to trickle into my Inbox... but it is painfully slow. Funny about the order. I got SPAM from The House of Blues, a couple Political Emails and then the emails from my friends started to come in. Makes sense, the commercial servers have more to gain by keeping their router tables updated.

Until all the Internet is aware that jennifermattis.com is back online - I'll be sitting here clicking Refresh, Refresh, Refresh... waiting for news from the outside world.

I'm torn between two geek visions: Lord of the Rings, where they are sending that signal through the mountains to call the Rohan people to battle and the world described in Neuromancer. Take your pick. I'll drum my fingers. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh...

Comedy of Errors

Now, it is only noon, but today is really having a ball with me.

Waking up - not keen on that, as I probably had an extra drink last night that I should have skipped... but manage to make it to the 6:15 exercise class I like. Work my way through that, hit the showers and there I run into the start of the domino effect. I'm missing my belt. Forgot to pack it. So I'm going to have to go belt-free, which isn't a big deal, just annoying.

Hop in the Jetta and head to work. As I'm on Wilshire going west, I hit a large puddle and, thankfully, make it across Veteran before my car stalls out. I try and try and try (if you repeat try and try enough times you'll sound like my car) and it won't start. So I call AAA and the truck comes 45 minutes later. Nice guy... but I think something is up when he can't think of a service center within 10 blocks of my house. However, I'm stuck. I could go to my old mechanic, but he is across town and I don't know how I'll get the car back or get to work. As it is, I'm close enough that they'll drive me back to my apartment after I drop off the car. Another suspicious thing: the tow truck driver and garage owner greet each other with big smiles. Oh well.

They take me back to my apartment where I go to get my roommate's car. Now, she has a terrible future ex-husband... and when I'm feeling frustrated with mine, she recounts another story and I feel lucky again. But she's off in Europe - cannot disclose where due to icky future ex-husband - and I have no idea when she is returning, she was supposed to be back last week. Anyway, she pulled some fuses out of her car so that if the icky ex or his evil friends were to attempt to steal it, that it wouldn't start. So I get the fuses in - which takes me about 15 minutes and then go to start the car. Well, the car is too smart for me. The key turns, but the computer display says, Key Not Accepted. I read the manual (RTFM, right?) and do as it says, but it will not accept the key. After another 20 minutes of banging my head against the wall - I seem to be doing that a lot recently, I give up and call a cab.

After the most expensive cab ride of my life, I get to work. Now on the way I get a call from Super-Cool-Sal who reports that my main email address is bouncing. Oh dear, one more problem. I knew something was up, as I stopped getting emails at about 2 pm yesterday. Well, got the ticket open with the hosting company and as it turns out I forgot to renew the domain name. Too bad Network Solutions didn't let me know - don't they WANT my money??

We'll see when that gets up and running again - to my friends, have patience, I'm not getting emails. I'm laughing at this already, but it may turn to tears if things along this route.

I saw some sunshine, it might not be 100% bad.

Betrayals

The hard drive on my computer died. This happened last week. I had my computer up and was going to get the wireless bobble to go with it so I could actually get it on line. But then it died. I fussed with the BIOS boot order and even stuck in a CD - but it isn't spinning right. It spins and stops and spins and stops... just long enough to confuse the computer.

Such a drain. I knew the drive wouldn't last... but then again, what does?

Thankfully the most important thing, my contacts, had a copy on the 2nd hard drive. So I didn't lose those. I did, however, lose 3 years worth of email, about 5 years worth of documents and files. Now, what is all of this worth? $300 to get fixed? $600? I'm not sure. I'd rather spend a weekend in Las Vegas than fix the drive. On another lucky note, a friend gave me an extra drive. Maybe I can get the box up on that. But now I'm out software. Ick.

More personal than the computer is a betrayal by the body. My sick grandmother is a prime example. She wasn't that ill, just a cold or flu, but she was just miserable. A terribly pale face, no energy. She looked drained. But she was mostly alert and just ready to be back to normal... if only her body could get on the same page.

I find it incomprehensible why the body revolts. A recent car accident followed my another near miss and my back is just frantic. Right in the middle a spasm keeps jumping from the left side to the right. The best remedy is the steam room at the gym. However, with each tinge of pain, I find it more incomprehensible why my body insists on doing this. I don't like it and I'm unable to fix it. Why must it continue to whine? I get told that it is trying to tell me something - yes, that it is weak and pathetic...

Oh well - off to the steam room.

Sleep on it

We now have scientific confirmation of what I've always known... that it is best to stop consciously thinking about a big problem and let the subconscious do the heavy lifting:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060216/hl_nm/health_conscious_dc_1

I love absolving my conscious mind of responsibility. Our subconscious does such cool stuff. It keeps the heart pumping, monitors air in/out take, does the serious thinking and is responsible for eye movement and physical stuff like walking.

Almost makes all those things I think about all day seem totally irrelevant.

Win-win or Zero-sum

As I journey on my path of reflection triggered by recent events in my life, I'm seeing how some people see connect to others in a value/punishment fashion. The person or relationship is only valuable if something has to be given up in order to obtain it. Much like game theory - there is a zero-sum nature about it.

An example of this from my relationship is with Michael. Not long before Christmas, I went out with a girlfriend. I was having a great time and didn't call in, as I should have, to report that I was going to be home late. On my way home I got an indignant call followed by a cold shoulder for my trespass of not calling or returning at the promised time. In retaliation, he asked me to host dinner for two new friends of his at work. While I enjoy cooking and I was interested in meeting his new friends, the request was made late Monday night for dinner Wednesday, the night before we were planning to leave for our San Francisco for Christmas. There was no compelling reason for having this dinner timed as such, except to punish me for my Monday night sins. The whole experience served only to alienate me.

Revenge is a key element in this mode of thinking - instead of letting it go when one person does more, a score is kept. I had to do X, so I'm going to be sure you do Y.

To continue with the game theory idea, I come from win-win. I just want the best outcome for both of us. If you're happy and it doesn't cost me anything I'm gleeful. My relationship with my friend Adam is like this. There is only finding good, in each other, in each other's lives. While I'm getting a divorce, he is getting married and I couldn't be happier to be in the wedding. Our relationship is balanced with each of us carrying the load on some days - I have called him seeking advice and counsel, with him doing the same on other days. Score is not kept, as we both see the value in the relationship.

Now, how to combine these two world views. Price, or opportunity cost, are closely associated with value. We see two rings in a jewelry store case and we often assume that the one with the higher price is more valuable. As many find that "high-maintenance" significant others are more valuable than the easy going competition.

Fundamentally I have a terrible time understanding how to make people "pay" for my love. If I connect with a person and find them to have similar values and interests, I just cannot be stingy or zero-sum. I want to be part of their lives, share in their experiences, as that in itself is its own reward. The value is in the connection. We both win.

Where I find problems is in those who I like and connect with who have zero-sum minds. It takes so much energy to keep on their scoreboard. To keep looking to push their motivation, to convince them that I'm worth the trade-off. The easiest way to deal with these people is to disconnect and disengage. Sad, as that takes it from win-win to zero-sum to a negative score. Do we all start out win-win and then get burned into becoming zero-sum? I never want to see that happen to me - yet by being who I am, I think I make an easy target.

Two Things we Can All Agree about

I've seen two things getting pushed among my friends and organizations. The first is appreciation for WWII veterans. They are not going to be with us much longer. My grandfather, James DeLano, Sr. was the navigator on B-17 bombers doing runs from England. He never spoke much about his service. Michael got to meet him once before he died and was able to pull more stories out of him than any of the family.

I had planned to visit my grandparents for a weekend in January and Jim passed a few days before. Polly, my grandmother, was trying to deal with the details of the memorial and death that weekend. Jim had a long slow decline, so his death was expected and the family was prepared. Yet, one of my tasks was to go through the micro-letters that he had sent to Polly while he was stationed in England. Reading about the boredom and golf games in the afternoon was wonderful, especially as I only got to knew my grandfather as he was losing a battle with dementia.

I've been to a number of air shows in the last few years and I always get teary at the B-17 they have sitting out. They gave so much and for such a clear cause.

Hmm, in light of that, the second thing doesn't seem as important. I'll save that for later.

Fun with Friends

Spent the weekend in San Francisco. Had a lovely quiet time with two sets of friends and their dogs. Four pug - we call it the Puggle. How much more love can a person have than when attacked by 4 pugs all looking for affection?

But better than the pugs was the company. One long walk through the streets and sights of San Francisco and another on the Beach, running the four pugs through the surf. Pugs have the best smiles.

Aside from the views, I didn't realize how luck I was to be out of the way of gunfire. There are very few shooting in San Francisco, but who knew that I could be safer there than in a field with the Vice President? His shooting of Mr. Whittington was quite a shocker - doesn't the NRA require gun training of its members and legislators?

Now I'm wondering what would happen if Mr. Whittington passes, he did have an injury related heart attack this morning. Could Vice President Cheney be charged with manslaughter? And when can he and the Shrub go for a duck hunting trip together, asks my friend André.

Friends are good things. We should spend more time with them.

Too Long or What is Funny?

I'm lucky, I laugh at almost anything. Others, not so lucky. Last night I was hanging out with a friend who had just gotten smacked down by his friends from earlier in the evening. His buddy was trying to make time with two girls who didn't find my friend's humor to their tastes. Asking him to take it down a notch. Poor girls. Isn't dating about having fun? Why get so caught up in sophistication - does the aloofness bring more than the giggles? Or maybe they just have a restrained sense of humor. I wasn't there and who am I to judge anyway. My only thought is for my friend. He's making things fun and light, and the response is to tell him to knock it off. How lucky is the person who finds a mate who makes him/her laugh.

There is so much to enjoy in this world. Humor is everywhere. This morning I encountered a man at the Coffee Bean who asked I believe in reincarnation - I said I liked the idea. He tossed back, "I didn't either the last time I was here." Yesterday I got mixed up and realized, at the end of my workout, that I was wearing mismatching sneakers. I don't think anyone noticed the shoes but I'm sure they thought I was odd chortling to myself while on the stretching mat.

Can you smile too much in one day? I think it releases endorphins - and those are good, right?

Just recently I moved out (hence the two months sans postings) of an environment where I couldn't smile. There was so much negativity that the bubbles inside me were going flat. Never will I be put in a situation like that again. Home must be a supportive place with love and appreciation. Not a world of punishment and hurt.

But enough ick for one day. Lets see what else is out there...

Dogs in the News

Ever since Diane Whipple was mauled by her neighbor's dogs in San Francisco, I have had a morbid fascination with these incidents. The most recent one, Lillian Stiles in Texas, has me truly amazed: "The dogs were found at the home of Stiles' neighbor, Jose Hernandez.
The sheriff's department will send the findings of its investigation to the Milam County District Attorney's Office, which will decide if any criminal charges will be filed against Hernandez."

Now, it really does say, "IF", doesn't it. I have a very hard time understanding exactly how the owner of the dogs would not, in some way, be responsible. If they are dangerous, then shouldn't the owner be liable if they get out. I would expect that he must be required to keep them on his property or under his control at all times. Or he should only be allowed to own pugs and chihuahuas that would not be able or inclined to take down a person.

Just a thought.

Upside to Los Angeles

Yesterday Michael wasn't feeling up to much. He's got that flu that is going around, keeping him up at night coughing and feeling generally ill. As a result, we didn't go out to the Mojave to find a desert hot spring. Instead, I got to take some time to cook.

When I was off in Italy, I told my Italian host mother that I didn't want to learn how to cook because I didn't want my future husband to expect me to. But then, two weeks before I was scheduled to return to California, I realized I should have learned how to cook those amazing meals while I had the chance. As a result, I have about 4 dishes from La Mamma - not nearly enough. Somewhere along the line I got hooked.

For a while, in my mid-twenties, I was close with a woman named Lauren. She would come over and the two of us would talk and cook up a fine meal. We did a few dinner parties together, which were often an excuse for trying out a new recipe. Poor Mike and Ken, guests at several of my first hostessing attempts. The first dinner I servered, pork in foil with veggies, just would not cook! At 9:30 I finally got it on the table - they were nearly passing out with hunger. Another time, I forgot to ask if they had any allergies. I made a curry from scratch, using 8 bell peppers. Once served, Mike then informed me that he was allergic to peppers... he kindly munched only on rice and salad. Opps.

But yesterday, I got to make up a sausage ragout from the Silver Palate which required me to first make up a spicy tomato sauce that needed to cook down for 3 hours. It was divine, but the sauce and the ragout (served over cous cous, but I think soft polenta would have been better).

Since Michael was stuck on the couch, I was cooking with time to think of all that is good in this world. Los Angeles does have a good side: I was out in a short sleeved top and flip-flops yesterday. No one stopped to gawk at the over-red color to my hair as they do in Washington DC. I have the resources to shop at Whole Foods. I have been very lucky this week. I had three days to myself with few appointments and unscheduled time to myself. That could be habit forming.

Most of all, the pollution here gave me the most beautiful sunset - with pinks found only in pre-teen wall posters of puppies and hearts. Living on the 6th floor also gives me views and the ability to put life in prospective, to see above and beyond the immediate.

Allocation of Resources

Watching the previews before Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (very funny - go see it), there was one for Syriana. In it, Matt Damon says to some robed men, "100 years ago you people were living in tents and you'll be back in tents 100 years from now."

And it reignited a thought I had once about Saudi Arabia. According to the CIO's website, they have 25% unemployment rates with a literate population. We've got a thinking population, with no political influence and little future ahead of them, sitting idle with religous zealots lurking in the shadows. As we saw in 2003, that resulted in terrorism. With all the money coming in from the oil sales, the government has shot themselves in the foot by not investing in infrastructure, education and industry.

Instead of palaces, they could have had world class educational institutions. Instead the young are either learning to read from the Koran or going abroad for education. I can just picture the research centers - they could lead the world in stem-cell research. So many options, so many ways to get their economy based on something other than oil. To build a sustainable industry that would take advantage of the human capital - look at China. It is more economical for them, due to their massive population, to build computer components by hand than for the same products to be built in America by machines.

Here are home, we are not immune either. Currently our leading edge consists of innovation and brain-power, but we're losing that as China is out stripping our production of engineers. More and more we are based on service industries - but how is that sustainable? India is now doing our phone tech support. Just like with Saudi Arabia, we need to invest in our country. Education is the best way for us to keep our position as world leaders - but the current administration is pulling the funding for that - trying to get a voucher system. Policies of that nature are sure to cloud America's future.

Seems I'm ending on a happy note today.

Tombstone

Tucson, for me was a wash - however, I did acquire my first pair of cowboy boots in Tombstone. Did I mention in the last post that our air conditioner was broken while we were strolling through the desert? Make it a bit warmer than average and I think my skin was extra soft from the exfoliation it got while going 70 with the windows open. Civilization is good thing. Our modern form of dress, while often taken to extremes and sloppy, is a blessing in the heat.

But I get ahead of myself. We roll into Tombstone and stop for a drink at the Wagon Wheel or something like that. I'm a bit green under the gills still, so I have a soda while Mike gets a drink. We chat up the bartender and learn that she is married to "Doc Holiday" - now I would guess that his mother didn't name him that, however, we are in Tombstone and just go with it. Doc runs the farro game over at the Crystal Palace- yes, this sounds like the movie, but stay with me - and was cleaned out the day before by some bikers and so didn't have the game running on Sunday when we arrived. Michael asked the bartender what her name is and she said, "Kate" - "Big Nose Kate!?!" gasps my husband. "Just Kate, thanks" comes the retort. "Is your name really Kate?" "No. Just everyone calls me that."

The nice lady then gives us suggestions for decent motels in the 'stone and we go off and get a room at The Larian motel. Which I would highly recommend - clean, economical and we, as fate would have it, got the "Big Nose Kate" room. I settle in for a nap, as I'm still a bit weak and Michael is off and running about town... kid in a candy store. Not long after, he comes back with books and work pants and suspenders.

Our next day I am able to shower with out using the walls to hold me up - good sign and we look around for a place for breakfast. Nothing like seeing the main street of Tombstone with garbage cans to kill the Old West atmosphere. The stores were closed, as it was 9 AM and the tourists weren't going to arrive for another hour. We decide to check out and make a quick trip to Kartchner Caverns.

Now I don't find inherent humor in those with lower IQ's than average, however they do make for good stories. One of my favorite comes from a ranch my husband's friends have up in Winters. They are down 1/2 a mile on a dirt road that has a 90 degree turn before heading up a small hill and reaching the property. The wife orders a semi-truck load of shavings for the horse's stalls and is careful to have it delivered by a company that can send a 2-part trailer so that it can get around that turn. Now, this being winter, the depressed area next to the turn is filled with a seasonal pond. They see the truck coming own the road and it approaches the turn. The drive is a novice and doesn't quite do it right and the 2nd trailer starts to slip into the ditch.

Now about this time those with a brain on their head would backup up or maneuver to get the turn corrected. This brainiack goes out and unhooks the 2nd trailer. The trailer then completes its slide off the road and falls on its side in the pond. The trailer isn't sealed - as it is a canvas covered frame and the water begins to seep into the shavings. Our fine friends come down the road to see what is going on. The driver and his partner request that they start ferrying up the shavings to the house. The wife who has a solid head on her shoulders turns down this request stating that the truck is not on their property and, therefore, the company's problem.

When I arrived, there were two semi-sized tow trucks and about 7 people trying to figure out exactly how to remedy this problem. The driver was overheard saying, "Oh golly, I hope I don't have to go back to building chicken coops." evoking such a delicate mix of pity and pain - Is this how the other half live?

I think we had his cousin on our tour of the caverns. While some of us were asking about the age of the caves in relation to the limestone caves in Big Basin National Park, he was asking, "What's the deal with that rock?" and points to one that is 1.5 feet from the giant fallen shield that the guild has just spent 5 minutes reviewing in detail. I guess it was too much to surmise that it was a rock that had broken off the shield on impact 10,000 years ago. Yikes. And he had a son with him, but I was happy to note that the lad was asking smarter questions than the father. After hearing him ask the guide, "How long have you been underground?" I had to turn to see exactly how the guide was going to answer that. Maybe suggest that he uses a small corner cave as a bedroom and that he was saving-up his stalagmite so that he might, someday, afford an above ground abode?

Is this how the other half live?

Arizona Peregrinations

With a huge sigh of relief, Michael and I resigned the same day. We then took a week to travel in the Southeast corner of Arizona. Michael had been itching to see Tombstone ever since I went there about a year ago.

We started off going East on I-10 and kept going until we were outside of Phoenix and hung a right on 85. Dropped down to Gila Bend and then over on I-8 to Tucson. We decided that there wasn't much to see in Phoenix and we might as well just push on to Tucson.

Not that there was much in Tucson. I should warn you - if you go - the Downtown rolls up their sidewalks at 5 or 6 PM. There is some action on Broadway, but if you're accustomed to coastal cities, the 5-6 bars won't seem like much. We accidentally made a right near the Congress Hotel which dropped us under the train tracks and we found 4th Ave. Now, 4th Ave on the Congress Hotel side is so quiet they don't bother with street lamps after about 2 blocks, so it was quite a surprise to find a lively street there. More surprising was their collection of punks and alterna-hipsters.

Exactly what are the punks in Tucson rebelling against there? Rocks? Heat? There doesn't seem to be strong cultural forces to begin with, let alone fight against. But more power to them, I would say they are keeping it real.

Then again, I might be bitter with Tucson, as I got the worst case of food poisoning while there. It stalled our trip, as I was not mobile for the better part of Sunday. Following that, I had terrible cramps for the following 5 days (they have finally subsided, today, Friday) - so I was less than perky on this adventure. Poor Michael. He did his best, but really, there is nothing he could do while I was writhing in pain between sprints to the bathroom and passing out on the bed. Gives me more and more respect for hospice workers. I can't imagine their grit and strong moral fiber, as in so many cases we are as ineffective as the doctors in the middle ages.

Daily we gain a more comprehensive understanding of the human body, the impact of specific medications on the body and nano-workings (I just wanted to write Nano). Yet most information leads to more questions. Why does one chemical cause three specific interactions while a slightly modified one cause two? Not to mention the helplessness that comes from understanding the cause, but having no cure. Or viruses - they enter our bodies and we are never able to make them leave, we are only able to develop anti-bodies that keep them in check. And what really is us? How much of our cells and make-up contain our DNA? There are hundreds of microbes digesting that margarita in my tummy and even more munchins eating the dead flesh off my skin - neither of which are me, yet I wouldn't function as well without them. Now, if so little of me is me, then how much of me must be mechanical or computerized or electronic for me to be a cyborg? Was this question solved by Darth Vader? So similar to this is questions of translated text - how much of the Odyssey is Homer and how much is Richard Lattimore?

I think it best to judge by the ends in these cases. My body is what it is due to the hybrid of its make-up - as it could be complimented by robotics as well. Not that I have them, but would implants count as robotics? They do serve a purpose and are foreign. And a translated text can be delightful in its own right, but if searching for the beauty in the original text, it might be best to learn the language.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about Tombstone.

Athens and the Vote

What civilizations do we value? From where do our values, as Americans, come from? Do we turn to the ancient Spartan? Do we turn to the Egyptians? Do we turn to the Syrians? We turn to Athens, ancient Greece. Where democracy was born.

What are the values of Athens? Knowledge and art are valued. Science, learning, libraries. Where are these values today? The current administration is attempting to dismantle our educational system. How can we run a democracy without an educated populace? The current administration does not value the arts - and what is it we value from ancient societies, aside from their art?

Where are the Republicans taking us? To a place where science holds no water? Where art is anathema. Where education is only for those who can afford it. Where torture is what Cheney advocates.

Each day that I look at America it looks less and less like the mighty civilization that our founding fathers envisioned and more like a desolate wasteland.

Please vote in tomorrow's election. No in November.

Empathy and Fiction

Last night we were watching a thrilling Masterpiece Theater bit. Yes, I’m using the word thrilling to describe Masterpiece Theater, but I had me on the edge of my couch. It was about a sheltered young man, Davie, who was thrown into the world like soup getting pureed in a blender. He’s a likable fellow with absolutely no street smarts and I just cringed watching him fall into yet another trap. While my husband shows no stress on his face, I’m putting my knees up to my chin in hopes that my fetal position will somehow help him.

Where it is programmed into my brain feel so much for characters in perilous situations? I got into bed, and picked up David Sedaris’ Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules and started in on a short story just to find another character being led down a fictional path to torment and ruin. I think I’m going to have to go back to non-fiction, or I’ll never be able to relax.

These situations aren’t happening to me – why should I be so worried? Is it the vulnerability of the characters is so similar to my own that I can envision myself so clearly in their shoes. Yet, aren’t I just learning how to avoid these problems? Then again, I’m not much at risk of being sold into slavery on a boat headed for the new world.

You know, I think I might have to find a book on empathy to read before bed. If I learn about it, I may be able to master it, right?